


Into The Deep End

by maydaykevin



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Beautiful Creatures - AU, Caster Chronicles - AU, Curses, F/F, F/M, Fate & Destiny, Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, That classic struggle between Light & Dark, Urban Fantasy, Witches but not in the conventional sense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2020-10-24 13:36:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20706881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maydaykevin/pseuds/maydaykevin
Summary: Neil Josten has 86 days until his future catches up with him.A Beautiful Creatures AU





	1. 86

**Author's Note:**

> [mood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C3ND1nitRs)

_ OCTOBER 25th_

Neil Josten was fascinated by the moonlight.

As his head craned upwards towards the night sky, the fading beams illuminating the damp grass beneath him, he found it as some sort of sick irony. 

The one thing that was so solid and true, a promise day in and day out, was the keeper of his fate and the cause of such everlasting fear. It was so laughably just his luck that it didn’t faze him anymore. 

_ Fuck the moon _, Neil Josten was running out of time.

He eyed the scrawled number on his hand in disdain, cursing himself for putting a number on his destiny but finding no other alternative. 86. _ Eighty six days _was how long he had left of himself before he was claimed. 

He would either be taken for the Light or the Dark and Neil knew which side would be chosen for him. He could sense the acrid taste on the tip of his tongue every morning and each day like clockwork and it was growing harder to swallow.

All Casters had a choice. They would either pick the pure or the tainted on their 19th birthday but Neil didn’t have that sort of luxury. For some otherworldly reason Neil wasn't prepared to understand, his family did not have a choice, namely his mother’s side.

His mother was claimed for the Dark and his father had _ chosen _ the Dark. Neil knew he had no other reachable destiny that didn’t follow their path. There was hope, however, in his uncle Stuart who was claimed for the Light, but said hope was minute with his father in the equation.

His father, the man his uncle has kept at bay for so long, wouldn’t be able to be contained after Neil’s claiming. He had no idea how Stuart was able to suppress such an unmovable force like Nathan Wesninski, but he had managed, Neil’s mother’s death only spurring him on. 

He was still kept awake at the thought of her, wishing and praying her demise was merely just another one of her illusions and that he would wake in the early hours of the morning and feel her presence at his back. Neil was embarrassingly mistaken. He was alone and Neil needed to get used to it for the sake of his survival. 

Neil was quick to block the thoughts from his mind. It was nearing sunrise, he needed to move.

Millport was a small town, bordered by an expansive mountain range that stretched and gaped as a sort of barrier between the outside world and for Neil it was a perfect.

He secured his duffel around his shoulder, Neil tightly holding it to his side as he left the safety of the park bench. His breath fanned out in front of him in the brisk air, Neil willing the air to morph into various shapes and patterns out of sheer boredom.

He knew his abilities were better left contained but Neil allowed himself small and quiet moments to let them free. He didn’t fully understand what he could do, his mother never explaining or allowing him to explore their true nature, but he knew he had an affiliation with the elements. It was both a blessing and a curse, but Neil supposed much of his life could be described as such.

Neil smiled as he froze the puddle in front of him, gliding over the icy surface before he surveyed the houses around him. He could see the sunlight beginning to peek through the clouds so Neil squatted behind a tree and waited, conveniently out of the eyes of the waking residents of the peaceful suburbia. 

Like clockwork at dawn, the older woman placed the package of food at one of the doors and swiftly drove away in her delivery car, none the wiser. The second the car was out of sight Neil leapt to his feet and made a beeline for the stairs

The basket was draped in a blue cloth, the company logo on the side and Neil haphazardly delved through the contents. It was the usual greens and dairy products and other assortments, enough to keep him going for the day and Neil quickly pocketed the contents. He _ knew _ he should’ve felt guilty for taking the old man’s milk, but he _ didn’t. _ Remorse was futile.

Knowing the elder was an early riser Neil quickly repacked the basket, doing his best to pretend like he’d never intruded. He was good at that. His calves ached slightly from squatting but Neil paid them no mind, spinning on his heels hurriedly to take off down the road.

He would have, that is, if not for the infuriated man standing in front of him and blocking his path.

“The fuck are you doing?”

Neil stilled.

“I’m talking to you, kid, what are you doing?” 

Neil slowly looked up at the man who had caught him out. Fair skin coiled around tight and hard muscles, his hair a striking orange and his blue eyes cold. His eyes were a shade lighter than Neil’s own, _ than what his father’s used to be_, and Neil struggled to keep upright. 

The man ripped the bag from Neil’s hand and gripped his arm, shaking him roughly and Neil fought to not bite off his own tongue. “Are you the fucker who keeps on stealing from my grandfather?” Neil stayed mute, keeping his eyes locked to the tree behind him. 

_ If he could summon a wind strong enough he could knock down the tree and crush the man- _

No. _ No. _Neil shook his head in dismay, the man’s voice white noise in the flurry of calming himself down.

“... call the police.” 

Neil tried to rip his arm away, the man squeezing tighter while fumbling with his phone. Neil couldn’t be taken to the station, they’d ask too many questions he didn’t have any answers to. It would be catastrophic and entirely not worth a loaf of bread.

He prayed for any higher being to come and save him and for once in Neil’s life his prayers were answered. 

“Drop him.” A voice cooed, Neil feeling his skin prickle at the tone. The man recoiled from Neil as if he had been burnt, his pupils blown wide and his face remarkably paler than before. He was staring at something behind Neil who couldn’t stomach turning around just yet.

“Turn around, get in your car and go home. This never happened, _ go _.” The man did as he was told, his movements jerky as he rushed to his car. 

Neil eventually found the nerve to turn around and he almost jumped out of his skin. 

“Jesus, calm down.” An older man grumbled when he stepped forward. He was considerably tall and muscular, his skin a deep brown with winding tribal tattoos laced up and down his arms. His eyes glowed a dark green and Neil felt somewhat relieved. Whoever this was wasn't affiliated with his father, at least, but he was unsure if the unknown was more of a concern.

“Fuck off.” Neil knew he probably looked like a wild animal, caught in a corner with his rabid teeth on show, but Neil couldn’t find it within himself to feel ashamed.

“No.” The man said, his tone concrete and aged as if he’d had this same conversation a million and one times. “I’m here to help you if you’d just calm down.”

“I didn’t ask for your help.” Neil picked up his dropped supplies and moved to walk away. The man’s large frame stopped him dead in his tracks and Neil had to suppress a flinch. “I don’t need your help, I’m-”

“Don’t even think about lying to me.” The man said, looking down at him like he knew exactly how Neil was going to finish his sentence. 

“I do what I like.” Neil sneered. “Why would I listen to an old man like you?”

“He’s definitely charming.” A new voice said, Neil not giving the new stranger the satisfaction of turning to glare at him. “I’ve been watching you for days,” He continued. “but strangely I haven’t been able to quite get a grasp on who you are or what you’re doing.” 

At this Neil had no other choice but to turn and glower. “And you don’t find that even a tiny bit creepy?” 

The young man seemed to be not much older than Neil. He was blonde and short, almost comically short, even Neil had a few inches or so on him which was a feat in itself. The most noticeable feature, however, were his glowing, golden eyes. Neil felt bile rise in his throat upon his realisation the boy had willingly chosen the Dark, and mistrust swept through Neil in a dizzying wave.

“Don’t even think about it Andrew,” The older man sighed. “we need him in once piece.”

_ Andrew _threw up his hands, seeming overly indifferent with the ordeal. Without warning he moved closer to Neil. He was instantly a threat, Neil pondered, his nonchalance dangerous.

“Settle, K-” Andrew’s eyes widened marginally as if he’d misspoken. “-_ David _. I want to get a good look at him.”

Neil, who had had almost enough bullshit to stomach for a week, raised his hand. His sprawled fingers twitched as he enticed the brisk wind around them towards him, pushing Andrew back with ease who only slightly stumbled. 

Andrew raised his eyebrows, looking behind Neil at David who let out another deep sigh. “_ Stop _.” 

Neil gasped when he felt something cold sweep through him, his raised arm falling heavily to his side like it weighed a tonne. It spread throughout his bones and Neil couldn’t move. He had dealt with phantom like pains throughout his life but this was a jarring whole body experience. He decided he hated it.

“Tsk, tsk,” Andrew murmured. “if you don't cooperate we’ll have to force you, and we’d just _ hate _ to do that.” Neil’s eyes pooled with frustrated tears, anger coursing through him in a mighty wave and he grit his teeth, his limbs still too painfully heavy to move. 

He could barely fathom what was happening, his mind trying to retrieve as much information as he knew about all the various types of Casters and coming up blank. He knew enough to get by, but he didn’t know everything, his mother keeping him in the dark for her own skewed perception of protection. Whatever David was he was powerful, Neil could acknowledge that.

David was the first to break the silence. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?”

Neil’s jaw ticked. He wouldn’t have answered even if he had the ability to.

“Of course he doesn’t,” Andrew snatched the bag from Neil’s closed fist, gazing at the contents with a calculating eye. “he’s stealing food from the elderly.” 

As if realising Neil couldn’t answer David motioned his hands haphazardly, muttering a quiet, _ “You can move.” _

Neil let out a shaky sigh when he registered his fingers moving. He tested his legs second, his thighs and calves straining under the tension and he did all he could not to run then and there. He should’ve, Neil could hear his mother’s voice in the back of his mind, but the curious look in David’s eyes told him to linger.

“Why do you care?”

“The welfare of wayward Casters is important to me, believe it or not.” The word _Caster _ felt like damnation but from David’s tongue there was an inch of hope and Neil was unsure if he should latch onto it. “Let me ask you again, do you have a place to stay tonight?”

“No.” The candor felt foreign.

“Okay. Would you be willing to accept a bed? We’ve got plenty of room at our hostel.”

Neil weighed his options. It was either another park bench or the safety of four walls and Neil knew what his back was telling him, his body prevailing over his mind. “Just for the night?”

David leant down to observe Neil’s eyes, something odd flashing in them before he rose to his full height. “Or for however long you need, it’s up to you...” He trailed off his sentence, waiting for a name.

Neil gave it to him, although not without a sliver of apprehension. “Neil.”

“Are you sure?” Andrew’s voice startled him but Neil didn’t give him the pleasure of his attention. He was unsure if he was doubting his name or his decision but it was a stone Neil didn’t wish to turn.

Despite perhaps his better judgement Neil followed David and Andrew down the endless sidewalks to wherever they were headed, the bread long forgotten and his duffel bad firmly pressed against his chest. Neil promised himself at the first sign of distrust he would be gone, merely a broken fragment in their memories, nothing to remember.

But there was a quiet part of him, one that longed for security, that hoped he wouldn’t have to.

Neil gazed at the number on his hand before he settled in the black Maserati, gaining strength from the emerald tint of David's eyes.

* * *

Where they stopped was unexpected.

It was nothing short of a [mansion](https://architecturerestoration.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/gothic-houses.jpg), with tall walls and multiple levels with a uniquely Victorian Gothic aura. The gardens surrounding were trimmed, no hedge or flower out of place and Neil wondered if they’d made a wrong turn. It looked nothing like a _'hostel'_ but for all Neil knew that was a front to appeal to the regular humans. 

Hiding in plain sight wasn't exactly an unfamiliar concept to Neil.

Andrew turned around to face him, hands still gripped tight to the steering wheel. “Professor X is waiting.” Neil tilted his head, confusion evident on his face at Andrew’s lack of response.

David was the first out of the car and he signalled for Neil to follow. “Grab your things, come on.” 

The air was crisper than it was in the suburbs, the mountain range closer and Neil’s eyes surveyed the treeline. The trees didn’t appear too close-knit, the undergrowth not overly long. It would be enough for Neil to get a head start at least. 

The distance between the car and the front door felt like a mile, the stones that crushed under Neil’s shoes sounding like subtle ticks of a clock. Neil zoned them out as best he could, the distraction of Andrew’s eyes on his back a peculiarly welcomed sensation. He’d endure anything to stop to burn of the ink on his hand.

The heavy door groaned as it opened and Neil peered into the entryway, hesitant to make the first move inside. Andrew moved for him, bumping his shoulder and almost sending him sprawling. His strength was notable and Neil locked it away in his memory.

“Follow me,” Andrew was already walking. “quickly, I’m not waiting for you.”

David didn’t follow and Neil didn’t stop to ask why. He trailed Andrew up the mighty stairs, on the lookout for wandering eyes and Neil startled at the sight of a shadow. Two people soon rounded the corner, oblivious to the pair as they made their way into one of the many rooms. It shouldn’t have alarmed him but it had. Neil hadn’t stopped to question how many people would be at the hostel and he cursed his poor judgement again.

Andrew clicked his fingers, the sharp sound echoing in the hall. “Ignore them, come on.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat was difficult but Neil managed, his duffel working as a makeshift shield as Andrew lead him further into the mansion. They rounded another corner until they found themselves at doorway, this one far less grand and instead with a name etched on the surface. Neil traced the letters with his eyes.

_ David Wymack. _

“Go on,” Andrew tapped the door in a distinctive rhythm. “he’s waiting.”

Neil frowned, confusion leaving him antsy. “But we were just with him-”

_ “Come in!” _ A familiar gruff voice answered and Neil sent one final glance at Andrew before entering.

The room was evidently a large office, a mahogany desk in the centre with a myriad of papers stacked on top. It smelt of worn books and incense and Neil hesitantly sat down in one of the red, tufted chairs. David was sitting there with a curious look on his face and Neil wondered how he’d beaten them to the room.

“Hello, Wymack,” Andrew drawled and perched by the other chair, his fingernails digging into the crevices. “busy afternoon?”

“It’s going to be.” David or Wymack or whoever the man was continued to stare and it left the Neil’s nerve endings frayed. “Who is this?” Wymack eventually asked.

“What?” Neil spoke before he could stop himself. “You were the one who brought me here.”

He watched as Wymack shoulders tensed, his green eyes darkening slightly before he slammed his fist hard on the desk. Neil instinctively flinched away from the noise. He attempted to hastily compose himself but Andrew had already seen his recoil. Surprisingly, he remained silent. 

Wymack was shouting a second later. “_ Kevin get your fucking ass in here or so help me!” _

“It was my idea.” Andrew insisted and Neil struggled to understand what was happening. He wondered if they’d been in a car accident and he was now in some sort of dreamscape, nothing seeming to add up no matter how hard he tried.

Wymack remained displeased. “Kevin has a brain.”

“You sure?” Andrew whispered.

Neil heard footsteps before the door slammed shut behind them and Neil couldn’t stop himself from turning. He wished he hadn’t.

Kevin Day was almost unrecognisable from the boy in Neil’s memories. He wanted to blame it on the time passed, but Neil struggled to. He was still tall and toned, his jaw more pronounced, but the similarities stopped there. His eyes were sullen, his brown skin lacking its glow and he looked almost like a walking corpse.

Neil, with his heart in his throat, wondered what turning Dark had done to the spirited and lively boy he had once known. A name crossed his mind, one that made Neil want to vomit.

“I’ve told you,” Wymack said, not shielding the ire in his voice as he spoke to Kevin. “how many times have I told you Kevin?” Kevin remained silent, glowering at the open window behind Wymack. “You can wear anyone you like, anyone _ but me. _ I don’t want to be held accountable for anything _ either of you _-” Wymack looked pointedly at Andrew. “-do, you hear me?”

“Oh, Coach,” Andrew drawled. “no matter who Kevin dresses up as or what we do you’ll always get the blame. Comes with the title.”

Neil, who had just gotten his breathing back under control, looked up and unfortunately locked eyes with Kevin. The swirling golden orbs were disorienting and Neil struggled to remember the striking green eyes Kevin used to have. 

He wondered if he recognised him but considering he’d been in his company for the better part of half an hour and remained quiet, Neil supposed he didn’t. He was unsure if it was relief or dread coursing through him, but Neil didn’t stop to question it. There were too many other things that needed answering.

“Both of you better start explaining this to me, now.” Wymack looked beyond exasperated and despite barely keeping up with the conversation Neil kind of felt bad for him.

“This is _ Neil. _ We’ve seen him around town,” Andrew drove the conversation and Kevin allowed him to. “figured he was just a homeless nobody but then yesterday he set a leaf on fire with his pinkie finger,” Neil shivered at being so easily exposed, so careless. “thought it was an interesting party trick.”

Wymack’s eyes darted back to Neil, his eyes turning serious in an instant. “Fire?”

Neil shifted in his seat. “Yeah.”

There were a few moments of silence, Wymack’s eyes darting over Neil’s face fervently. Whatever he found, or didn’t find, didn’t satisfy him. With a shake of the head he eyed Andrew and the blonde shrugged. 

“I can’t read him either.”

Wymack stroked his chin. “Are you an Illusionist, kid?”

Neil gnawed at his lip. “... My mother was. Why?”

Wymack ushered Kevin and Andrew out of the room, both to their pleasure and displeasure. With the door firmly closed all of his full attention was back on Neil, his lips downturned in a perturbed frown.

“Honesty goes a long way here kid, and it usually isn’t a problem for me. I’m a Sybil-” An awful noise escaped Neil’s throat, one he thought he could hold in but Wymack didn’t stop to question it. “-I can know everything about you with just one look. By that reaction, I think you know that. But looking at you right now I can’t see anything, Neil, I’m none the wiser. Why is that?”

Neil had no answer for him.

Wymack tapped his fingers on the desk, his large frame creating an impressive shadow on the back wall. “Is what Andrew said true? You have nowhere to go?”

“Yes.”

“Well, this works in your favour.” Wymack rounded the desk and sat back down, levelling his gaze at Neil who barely held it. “I created this place as a refuge for wayward Casters, young kids who have nowhere else to go. If you’re willing, you have a place here for however long you need, but on one condition.”

Neil’s heart was in his throat, his hands so close to the lifeline. “Which is?”

“If I can’t read you I need you to promise you’ll be one hundred percent honest with me. I might be asking a lot, but can you try for me, Neil?”

_ He couldn’t. _ “I’ll do my best.”

“Let’s start now, what’s your Caster type?” At the silence Wymack pressed further, not taking no for an answer. “I have a feeling, but I need to hear it from you so I know what we’re dealing with.”

Forming the words were harder than he thought they would be and for a moment Neil wished Wymack could just look at him and get his answer. He still didn’t understand why he couldn’t, but there were lots of things Neil didn’t understand. His power was one of them.

“I’m not sure.”

“You want to know what I think?”

The words left Neil’s lips before he could stop them. “Not really.”

Wymack didn’t seem bothered. He gave a slight huff, something akin to a laugh and Neil was quietly thankful. “Considering the story about fire I think you’re a Natural Caster, would you agree?” Neil saw no other alternative so he nodded. 

Sharing his father’s abilities was not something Neil liked to admit.

“And judging by your eyes you obviously haven’t been claimed.” Neil subconsciously traced the number on his hand. “When will that be?”

“January.”

“And which way will you swing?”

Neil wanted to laugh in Wymack’s face. “Light.”

He hesitated and it made Wymack’s brow raise, just barely, but Neil noticed. “I don’t mind either way, this place is open for anybody. Light or Dark or neither, it’s no problem.”

“Light,” Neil would say the word until he was blue in the face, if he did, then maybe he’d believe it. “I’m choosing Light.” 

An omitting of the truth wasn’t lying, not exactly, and if Neil _ did _ have the choice it would be Light. Neil would be out of this place before his claiming anyway, he was sure of it, so Wymack didn’t need to be privy to his curse. 

“One final time, do you want to stay here, Neil? Because I won't force you, I know you coming here was abrupt but you don't have to if it's not want you want." Wymack's words were earnest and Neil, shocking even himself, believed him. "It's up to you.”

“I think I want to stay.” _ It’s safer inside than out, _he reasoned with himself and his better judgement.

Wymack clasped his hands together. “Okay.”

Neil was whisked out of the room shortly after by a woman who later introduced herself as Abby, her green eyes instantly putting him at ease. He followed her up another staircase, stating that the third floor was for bedrooms and unease unfurled in Neil’s stomach. It wasn’t ideal for a quick escape, not without breaking his legs but he kept his concerns to himself.

They stopped at a room in the middle of the hall, the door painted a harsh orange. “I’m sorry, all of our rooms are taken so you’re going to have to share.” Neil’s face paled and Abby threw her hands up in alarm. _ “But, _ I’m not throwing you to the wolves, Matt is lovely, trust me.”

“A house this big and you’ve run out of rooms?”

Abby shifted on her feet. “Other rooms have been claimed for other business and we haven’t needed to clear them, you’d be surprised how few people stay here. We actually haven’t had a new arrival in almost a year, that is until you.”

The door opened before Abby could knock, the pair taking a startled step backwards. Neil blinked in shock at the young man’s height and he wondered why everyone had to be so goddamn tall.

His skin was a deep brown and covered in freckles, his dark hair styled into neat cornrows. His eyes were green and kind. “Hello, Neil.” It took Neil a moment to register he’d never told the man his name and he took another step backwards. Matt’s laughter was easygoing, his strong chest vibrating. “Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to spook you, man. I’m a Telepath.”

_ Great, someone else to try and look in my head. _

“Don’t worry, I can control it,” Matt winked. “I’ll keep out of your head.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t sweat it.”

“Matt, Neil is your new roommate for…” Abby pondered for a few seconds, gazing up at the high ceilings like they held the answer. “an indefinite amount of time.”

“That’s okay with me, it gets lonely in here.”

“I’m right here, Matt.” Another voice piped up from inside.

Neil shuffled into the room and Abby bid him farewell, leaving him alone with Matt and the unknown young woman in the room. She had a similar complexion to Matt, her short hair dark and curly and her eyes the same brilliant green as Matt’s. 

Neil would have to work on his bone deep relief at the sight of green eyes over gold, but it would be a habit hard to break.

She introduced herself with a firm hand. “I’m Dan.”

Neil took it gingerly and he imagined his mother cursing him for being in such a position. “Neil.”

“We’ll give you some space to unpack,” Matt eventually spoke, grabbing Dan’s arm and dragging her off the bed. “do you need help with your other bags?”

“This is all I have.”

Matt’s eyes drifted to the singular duffel. “Oh.”

Their departure, despite their friendliness, was a weight off Neil’s shoulders immediately. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken for so long and his throat ached from disuse. It was uncomfortable, but Neil would weather the storm if it meant a proper bed and protection for a few weeks.

The friendliness was merely a symptom, Neil would be gone in a month.


	2. 80

_ OCTOBER 31st _

Andrew left him alone for almost a week, but it hadn’t given Neil any kind of reassurance.

He’d kept mostly to himself the rest of the first day. Matt was in and out of the room and they exchanged various pleasantries, but he didn’t push Neil to talk about anything personal. It was a weight off his shoulders, the latter content to stay huddled up against the wall of his new bedroom and keep to himself. 

Neil couldn’t, however, avoid the group introduction Wymack arranged the following day.

_ Wymack lead him into a spacious lounge with chairs and couches in abundance, the large fireplace on the far wall unlit and Neil wondered if it was a challenge. _

_ “I told them to meet here at one o’clock, they’ll be here at one thirty.” _

_ Surprisingly, Wymack was wrong. The last person to enter the room was Andrew, and that was at one fourteen on the dot. He sat in the middle of the longest couch, with Kevin and a smiling stranger at his side. Another surprise was Andrew’s twin brother, sitting on the arm of the couch. _

_ Neil had made it his goal to avoid as many people as he could. He knew there weren’t many, but in Neil’s opinion that made things all the more difficult. Matt was impossible to avoid, Dan a close second, but as for the rest of the residents Neil had really only caught glimpses of them. _

_ There, sitting in the green armchair, Neil felt exposed under their combined gazes. He told himself he maybe should have made the effort for introductions, as anything had to be better than this. _

_ Wymack clapped his hands to gather their attention, thankfully taking their eyes off N eil. All but Andrew’s. _ “S_ettle down, this won’t take long if you don’t make it take long. Everybody, this is Neil." _

_ “You’ve met Matt and Dan,” The pair waved good-naturedly and Neil was unsure if he needed to wave back. “next to them is Allison.” He motioned to the blonde sitting by herself, her eyes golden and hungry and Neil averted his eyes. “And finally, Renee, she’s a Seer.” _

_ Neil hadn’t met many Seer’s in his life. They weren’t like Neil or the rest of the Caster’s in the room, instead mortals with a connection to their world through the Otherworld. They could communicate with the dead, and Neil could only imagine how Renee had found herself in such a place. _

_ Her light hair was in a bob, and her brown eyes held a smile, but Neil couldn’t look into them too long. He caught sight of scars on her tawny skin before he looked away. _

_ “I’m Nicky!” The stranger next to Andrew took Neil’s hand and shook it enthusiastically, his green eyes brighter than the others. “Oh man, it’s nice to finally meet you, I was starting to think you were a figment of Andrew’s imagination.” _

_ Andrew’s reprimand was steely. “Nicky.” _

_ Nicky’s smile faltered, just the slightest. “Uh, anyway, I’m Andrew’s cousin.” Neil looked at Nicky’s glowing brown skin in bemusement and he laughed cheerily. “I’m telling you the truth, I promise. Oh, and you probably haven’t met Aaron-” _

_ “And I don’t want to meet him.” Aaron’s response was laced with a bitterness Neil didn’t think he’d earned. He hadn’t even spoken a word to Aaron for him to dislike him, but Neil was happy to ignore the twin. One was enough to deal with. _

_ “Now that you’ve seen Neil,” Wymack interrupted. “leave him be.” He looked pointedly at Andrew, who was still too busy staring at Neil to listen. “Dismissed, go away and do something productive.” _

The days following were repetitive, and Neil got used to the rhythm. 

Wake up at 6:30 a.m., check his belongings were where he’d left them, raid the kitchen for food and leave before anyone could disturb him. He’d then retreat back to his room. Neil occasionally left to wander the halls and scope out the rest of the building, even once venturing into the garden for fresh air, but he kept mostly to his room until nightfall where he’d check his belongings and go to bed for a fitful night of sleep.

Monday disturbed his rhythm, but Neil should’ve seen it coming. He’d been lulled into a false sense of security and he had a clue as to who’d raided his duffel bag. It screamed Andrew, and it tasted like betrayal. 

With a bitter taste in his mouth Neil knocked fervently on the door of the shared bedroom. His knuckles scraped and upset the stickers plastered on the wood but Neil was too enraged to care, his father’s temper clawing to the surface and begging for blood to be drawn. Neil wouldn’t go that far, Wymack’s warning about excessive violence too stern to be ignored, but Neil’s sharp tongue was waiting patiently to be unleashed.

Nicky opened the door and his eyes widened in surprise at the sight of him. “Neil-?”

“Where is Andrew?”

He swallowed hard. “Why?”

Neil easily ducked under Nicky’s raised arm who let out a shriek.

The bedroom was significantly bigger than his and Matt’s, with a higher ceiling and larger windows. Another difference was the room dividers that separated the room into four distinct spaces, each decorated differently by whoever embodied that corner.

Aaron was on his bed, headphones in and oblivious to Neil’s arrival. Kevin was in one of the corners stood in front of a floor to ceiling mirror and his golden eyes narrowed when he noticed another presence in the room. He was displeased, telling by the scowl that tugged at his lips.

“What are you doing in here?”

Andrew clearly wasn’t in the room, that much was obvious, and Neil scanned the beds for what he hoped was Andrew’s. He peered closer to the bed on the far left corner, noticing the sparse decorations and took a leap of faith.

He sprinted across the room before he could be intercepted. Nicky was shouting something behind him, but Neil zoned him out, his hands making a mess of the bed to find what Andrew had stolen. Out of everything he could have grabbed, _ of course _ it had to be that. 

Neil, as he upended Andrew’s pillow, wondered vaguely just when Andrew had raided his belongings. Whenever it was Neil had made a mistake, and it hadn’t taken long for him to do so. Perhaps he’d made the wrong decision accepting Wymack’s offer after all, perhaps it was safer to be gone. 

People made things complicated, and it seemed like Andrew’s fixation.

“Neil, hey, stop it,” Nicky’s voice made it back into his awareness but he paid him no mind as he opened and closed the shelves of his dresser, each one leaving a significantly louder bang. “Neil, what are you doing?”

Neil grabbed Andrew’s duvet and threw it on the ground, but not before violently kicking the mattress to release his pent up frustration. He didn’t want to hurt Nicky, but he was standing too close and Neil could feel his skin starting to crawl.

“That was pointless.”

Neil turned at the familiar voice.

Andrew was in the threshold with Neil’s binder in hand, and his vision clouded red.

The window burst open and that finally got Aaron’s attention, the strong wind having disrupted the pages of his book. Nicky fled the room and Kevin stayed stagnant, eyes taking in the scene with curious intent. Andrew merely eyed the window and let his eyes languidly find Neil’s, as if daring him to take that next step.

Neil was able to keep his voice steady, but only barely. “Give it back.”

“You won’t let me read you, so I had to do my own reading,” Andrew jingled the binder, one of Neil’s many passport’s gliding to the floorboards. “you made this hard on yourself,_ Neil.” _Neil grit his teeth and the wind picked up, Andrew’s eyes following the passport as it made its way into Neil’s hand.

_ “Give it back.” _ Neil demanded. 

“Or you’ll what? Drop me out the window?” Andrew took a few steps closer, golden eyes sparking in provocation. “Go ahead, I want to see you try.”

Neil could feel the wind as it cascaded through his dyed hair, stray papers and leaves getting caught up in the gust. It brushed his arms gently, soothingly, as if it was a part of him, the invisible force gaining momentum the longer Andrew stared him down. Kevin, for a moment, stepped forward to intervene but Andrew held up a finger, halting him in his tracks.

“No, I want to see him crack.” Andrew sounded so sure of himself that for a second Neil wanted to give him the satisfaction and let him suffer the consequences. But the longer the wind persisted the more pointless the altercation seemed, and there wasn’t much that Neil craved more than proving the universe wrong.

_ He wasn’t his father, Neil would never be. _

The air stilled seconds before Wymack barrelled into the room with a panting Nicky in toe. He assessed the room with his keen eyes, taking in the five of them with a reserved disdain, as if this was a regular Monday night. Albeit, he looked at Neil with more disappointment and he didn’t know why that stung so badly.

“Neil, would you help explain this to me?”

“Andrew took something of mine.”

Aaron’s quiet voice joined the conversation. “Snitch.”

Wymack spoke with an accustomed ease, and Neil wondered how many young Casters had been at the other end of this very spiel. “And you resorted immediately to your abilities?”

“It wasn’t my immediate response,” Neil pointed to Andrew’s destroyed bed. “that was.”

“Andrew,” Wymack motioned to the binder and for an awful second Neil braced for him getting his hands on it and reading into his past, just as Andrew had. “would you be kind enough to give Neil’s property back to him.” He spoke slow and careful, like he was talking to a child.

“Because you asked so _ kindly.” _ Andrew threw the binder at Neil who caught it with one hand. “Are we done here?”

“Are _ you?” _ Wymack asked.

“I think so, right, Neil?”

Neil pushed passed Andrew on his way out, crunching a leaf under his shoe as he did.

* * *

“What’s Andrew’s problem?”

Neil was sat in Dan and Renee’s room. They’d welcomed him inside with warm smiles and tea and biscuits, and Neil had an inclination that they’d caught wind of his altercation with whom they referred to kindly as, _ The Monsters. _ The scene was a remarkable juxtaposition, but Neil didn’t think about it too deeply, the sweetness of the biscuits too much of a distraction.

“Where do we begin…” Matt trailed off, his tall frame slightly comical from where he sat on the small pillows they’d arranged. “Don’t take it personally, he’s like this with all the new arrivals, unfortunately.” Matt shivered like he spoke from personal experience.

Before Neil could interject Renee spoke. “He likes to know things, and you are an unknown.”

“He doesn’t need to know me.”

“If you’re staying with us, he does.”

Her response was too simple, and Neil munched on his biscuits in an effort to qualm his curiosity. It didn’t keep him quiet for long. “If he thinks I’m a threat, he’s got to remember that _ he _ was the one who brought me here in the first place. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here, that’s his fault.”

_ “And _ Kevin’s,” Dan added with a disbelieving grin. “I can’t believe he wore Wymack again… the gall.” 

Neil was unsure of Kevin’s power, the latter’s type still undecided in the short amount of time they’d known each other as children. It was a long time ago, an entirely different world, one that Neil hoped to forget and one he hoped Kevin had forgotten. 

With the hints consistently dropped he tried to piece it together, but nothing seemed to stick, and Matt spoke as if catching onto his brooding. “He’s an Evo, if you’re curious.”

Neil raised his eyebrows, inviting Matt to continue his spiel. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Really?” Matt asked, shaking his head after peering into Neil’s eyes. “It’s difficult to describe, it’s kind of terrifying actually, I don’t like to think about it.” Neil was beginning to grow impatient with Matt’s rambling, but stayed mute nonetheless. 

“He can change into anyone he likes, take their face and voice and all that. He can also control people and_ on top of that _ borrow other Caster’s abilities.” Neil’s eyes widened and Matt hummed in agreement. “Talk about fucking overpowered, right?” 

Neil nodded, his eyes going slightly unfocused and Matt laughed without humour. “It’s probably why Riko forced him to be Dark, my money is on they used him as a weapon.”

The word settled in the air around them, and Neil felt frozen. Thinking the name had been bad enough, but hearing it was jolting. There was no way Matt knew that name, no possible way, unless…

“Has he mentioned him?”

Matt’s laughter died down, and he hesitated. Neil realised too late he’d spoken as if he knew Riko, but it was too late to change his phrasing. Matt replied, but the girls had caught onto his pause. “Uh, no, I just… I mean I shouldn’t have but I took a look in his head one afternoon. It was only a fleeting thought but it was enough.”

“Don’t tell Andrew,” Dan piped up, hoping the settle the tension that had started to build. “he’s like a little attack dog when it comes to Kevin. Couldn’t understand why, don’t really want to.”

Neil finished his tea in one mighty gulp, anxiety creeping into his chest. He was so needlessly careless around them, and if he hoped to stay a little longer he’d need to be more cautious.

The conversation naturally progressed away from talk of Kevin and Riko and Neil kept his head low, chewing away the offered biscuits and just listening to Matt and Dan ramble. Renee was just as quiet, if not perceptive, and she lowered herself down beside him. She looked at Neil like she knew him, and he struggled to stay seated.

“I believe you frighten him,” Renee spoke quietly so Matt and Dan couldn’t hear, the pair none the wiser. “that is why he won’t leave you be.”

It took a second for Neil to process her words, and the biscuits was forgotten upon the revelation. “I don’t believe that.”

“He is a Sybil, Neil, he should know everything about anyone and he has expressed to me that he can’t read you.” Neil had no time to ask how that was possible, _ Andrew and Renee? Friendly? _“Imagine it, being able to know everyone’s intentions until you suddenly couldn’t.”

Finding his voice was more difficult than he anticipated. “That’s not my problem.”

“But he has made it his.”

Neil fell asleep that night with an uncomfortable weight on his chest.

Neil opened his eyes to two golden orbs staring back at him.

His immediate response was to scream, and he almost did, but a strong hand reacted fast enough to cover his mouth. Bile filled Neil’s mouth and coated his teeth, countless possibilities pervading his mind in one dizzying concoction. One stuck out more than the rest despite its absurdity, and later he’d curse his stupidity. 

_ Wymack had contacted my father’s people, they’ve come to the hostel and he welcomed them with open arms because of the trouble I've had caused, and they're going to- _

“Calm down.”

The voice didn’t belong to his father’s men or the man himself.

Andrew was crouched down beside his bed, the shadows cast across his face making him appear like a creature of the night. The eyes were still unsettling but Neil was just the slightest bit calmer. What he felt was more annoyance than fear, and Neil could stomach that.

He shoved Andrew off him, swallowing the bile as he did. “Get out of my room.”

“I will,” Andrew replied. “and you’re coming.”

It was by the grace of God that Neil was able to keep his voice down, Matt’s snores reminding him to stay as quiet as he could. “Like hell I am, not after what you did. Fuck off, Andrew.”

“I don’t think you’re in any position to be making demands.”

“I don’t think you’re in any position to tell me what to do.”

Andrew’s jaw ticked. It was a subtle movement, something Neil would have missed if not for the obscure lighting. “If you want a place here you’ll follow me, if not, expect your binder to end up burnt in a trashcan someplace.”

Neil knew the threat was genuine, and he got out of bed as quietly as he could, almost missing the bundle of clothes Andrew threw his way. They were black and apparently his size but Neil didn’t move immediately. 

“Change into these.”

“Why?”

“Will you ever stop asking questions?”

“Will you?”

Andrew’s jaw ticked again.

He gave Neil a modicum of privacy when he changed, the door half opened and letting a glowing strip of candlelight into the bedroom. The clothes were slightly uncomfortable and would be difficult to run in if need be, and Neil kept his footfalls light when he crept through the opened door. Andrew was already halfway down the hall and it mimicked the first day too perfectly. 

Kevin, Nicky and Aaron were waiting by their room and upon seeing Andrew started walking towards the staircase, barely acknowledging Neil’s presence. They were all clad in a similar attire.

“Nice of you to join us.” Nicky whispered, having waited at the top of the staircase for Neil to approach and the latter felt slightly awkward around him. Nicky had dropped the small detail that he was a Diviner, a Caster able to see into the future, and it had thrown him.

The universe had to have been playing some cruel joke on Neil, surrounding him with so many Casters whose specialities revolved around the mind and the past and future. It was _ exasperating, _but Nicky was yet to pull out a tarot deck and Matt and Dan were keeping out of his thoughts, so he was coping.

Andrew and Wymack remained a concern, their insistence they couldn’t read Neil a small comfort. A voice told him they were lying, but Neil had to trust they were telling the truth. If Andrew’s insistence on snooping through his things and Renee’s admission were any indication, they were.

“Did Andrew tell you where we’re headed?”

“No.” _ I’m blindly trusting you all, and I kind of hate it, but I’m not doing anything to stop it. _

“That makes it more fun!” Nicky wound his arm around Neil’s shoulders, his loud chatter echoing throughout the imposing entryway. His eyes were gleeful. “It’s the witching hour.”

The witching hour was near completion by the time they reached destination.

As Neil sat in the backseat of the Maserati, squeezed up against Nicky, he counted the times he could’ve fled their late night expedition. _ One, _ when Andrew pulled up on the side of the road for Kevin to relieve himself, _ two, _ when they were stopped at a red light and _ three, _ when they eventually pulled into the dark alleyway. 

Neil had the opportunities, he just didn’t take him, and he didn't know what it meant. 

“Out.” Andrew commanded, and they followed, all but Neil whose door refused to open. He sent a glare to Andrew who watched him in the rearview mirror. 

“My thread is wearing thin, Andrew.”

“Then leave.”

“Can’t, the door’s locked.”

There was a loud _ click _ as the door unlocked, but Neil didn’t move.

Andrew, pleased with whatever had transpired, pulled himself out of the car and despite his better instinct Neil followed. He’d been doing that a lot this past week, and Neil was quickly running out of explanations why. It was as if the floodgates were opened, and Neil was left floating into the unknown.

The others were gathered by a scarcely lit doorway, the dingy alleyway exuding next to no light. Kevin pushed open the door when they were close enough, revealing a narrow hall that lead to a steep, descending staircase. Upon closer inspection the walls were lit with small, glowing purple and green gems.

Neil jumped when the door slammed shut behind him. He was barely halfway down the staircase and already regretting his decision, Andrew at his back not doing much to settle his nerves. He powered through it, not wanting to be the first to break in their brewing stand-off. It gave Neil something to do and something to drown his mother’s voice with.

A wooden, fortified door greeted them at the bottom of the stairs. Nicky bounced forward and gave the door a solid tap, Neil waiting a few seconds until there was a hefty groan. A set of golden eyes appeared in a revealed, rectangular slit, and they soon flashed in recognition.

The door opened to an underground club and Neil let out a sigh.

He kept close behind Kevin as he stalked through the crowd, using his larger frame to lot get lost in the mingling bodies. The bass was deep and haunting, the music foreign to his ears and he could feel a headache coming along.

They found an empty booth in the corner, the cushions all black and the table sticky. At some point Nicky and Aaron had disappeared to get drinks, leaving Neil alone with Andrew and Kevin. Kevin gave him a side eye but kept mostly quiet, and Andrew was more than willing to speak.

“You look lost, little fox.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “Parties aren’t my thing.”

“Shocking.” Aaron muttered, slamming the tray of drinks of the unsteady table. Nicky already had two shots in hand and he downed them greedily, a slice of lemon resting in the corner of his mouth. Kevin offered Neil a glass but he refused. 

“I don’t drink.”

Andrew let his opinion be known when the trio scattered to the dance floor. 

“Scared your lies will be unravelled?” Neil huffed, unable to deny it and Andrew was well aware. “This would be easier if you stopped resisting.” 

“I don’t know why you can’t read me.”

“Isn’t that convenient.”

“It’s the _ truth, _ ask Wymack,” Neil floundered for a response. “he’d know more than me.”

“Coach is of no use to me.”

“Why do you call him that?”

“He hates it,” Andrew’s response was smooth, practised. “and rumour has it he coached little league baseball back in the day.” Neil tried and failed to imagine a baseball bat in Wymack’s hands.

“Speaking of rumours,” Andrew pointed to Neil’s hand and the latter’s eyes immediately found the scrawled number. He was at 80, but considering the early morning, he was at 79 and it was a sobering thought. “the others think that’s how many days you’re staying here. I think they’re idiots. You don’t seem like the sentimental type.”

The claiming was a tradition, something they all shared, so Neil felt somewhat confident enough to tell Andrew the truth. Not the whole truth, but enough to placate him. “It’s how many days until my claiming.”

Andrew fiddled with his glass. “Why put a number on it? It’s not that important.”

“It is.”

“Not if you know where you’re swinging.” At Neil’s silence Andrew tilted his head, and something clearly clicked. He leant back against the booth, eyes glinting. Blood was quick to drain from Neil’s face, and he hoped the frenzied strobe lights were enough to conceal his expression. 

“You’re not a child, you shouldn’t be scared of the Dark.” Andrew spoke when Neil was unable to, giving no inclination that he knew anything about the curse. _ He just thinks I want to go Dark, _ Neil told himself, _ nothing more. _

“I’m not.”

“Then explain why you’re looking at me like that.”

The blood pounding in Neil’s ears rivalled that of the bass, and if Andrew started speaking he was unsure if he’d hear him. The train of thought was a dangerous one, his mind prone to spiralling, and Neil couldn’t recall the last time someone had pressed on his secrets so insistently. 

“I can’t tell you everything you want to know.” Neil settled on that, knowing it was the safer option.

Andrew gulped down the rest of his drink. He planted it beside Neil’s hand, some of the condensation settling on the number. “You can’t seriously expect me to let you anywhere near Kevin, not with that shifty binder of yours and your inability to tell a single truth.”

The blood pounded louder. “Kevin?”

“You want to know what I think, _ Neil?” _The words were unfriendly, his name a curse, and Neil pulled away from Andrew like he’d burnt him. “I think Riko misses Kevin, and I think you’re the messenger boy.”

Anger miraculously prevailed over his fear. “You seriously fucking think I have anything to do with that psychopath?”

Andrew’s eyes sparked. “So you know him?”

“I-” Neil bit his tongue, _ dammit. _“I know of him, but I’m not working for him if that’s what you’re implying.”

“It’s exactly what I’m implying. A Cataclyst with an unclaimed Natural Caster under his wing,” Andrew’s gaze was menacing, his words even more so. “it’s not looking great for you, whoever you are.”

The sheer idea of being by Riko’s side and doing anything he insisted made Neil’s hands shake and he rose to his feet in a flurry. “It’s Neil.”

“You and I both know it’s not.”

Neil contemplated his mistake as he weaved through the crowd, growing angrier at himself with every passing second. Andrew’s words were snares and he’d fallen right into them, revealing next to everything by revealing nothing. 

The night had been a test, and Neil had failed.

_ He’d couldn’t even last a week. _

Stewing in his own thoughts, Neil barely registered bumping into Nicky. His body was solid, and he looked just as surprised at the sight of him. His emerald eyes didn’t fit the grime of the bar, and it occurred to Neil that he’d never bothered to ask just what Nicky was doing with his cousins.

“You alright, Neil?” He asked, face full of concern. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Neil didn’t stop to answer Nicky’s puzzled gaze. He rushed to the staircase, the doorman barely having enough time to open the door before he flew through it. 

He went through the motions: _ hotwire the Maserati, if you can’t, hitchhike your way to the hostel. Grab your binder and your clothes and get the fuck out of Millport. _

The night air was cold and Neil shivered. He tucked his hands under his armpits as he made his way to the Maserati, begging the icy breeze away from him and in the opposite direction. There was movement to his left, and Neil didn’t want to look, but his eyes drifted.

Nathan Wesninski hadn’t aged a day since Neil had last seen him.

It was odd, the feeling that swept through Neil. It felt like he’d been thrown into a fog, the haze clogging his airways and leaving it hard to breathe. He blinked once, twice, expecting his father to disappear into his memories but he lingered, as solid as the street light he stood beside.

Neil couldn’t will himself to move as Nathan crossed the distance between them. The world started to tilt, and all Neil could muster was a quiet whine. He loomed over Neil, face impassive, his golden eyes alight with an intensity Neil had never forgotten.

But something flickered.

It was a ripple, Neil’s eyes struggling to see what was happening through the black shards obstructing his vision, but he could comprehend enough in his dazed state. Auburn hair melted to black, beige skin blended to brown, and golden eyes remained steadfast. 

In a mere five seconds Nathan was gone and replaced by a displeased Kevin Day. “I thought it was you.”

Neil hit the pavement hard.


	3. 79

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter, sorry, but an important one nonetheless.

_ NOVEMBER 1st _

When consciousness was granted to Neil, he punched whoever was closest to him as a thank you.

With cotton balls in his ears he didn’t register who was in the room with him, his shaking legs barely cooperating when he careened to the floor. He recognised the floorboards, and recognised the voices that steadily grew in strength the longer he struggled to find his feet.

“... for a second, Neil, Christ. Can you hear me?” That was Wymack.

“... need some ice, Dan, he’s got a decent right hook.” That was Matt.

Neil hadn’t passed out in a long time, and it never got easier waking up afterwards. When his limbs felt less weightless, and his mind intact, his memories came back to him in fragments. The club, Andrew’s inquisition, his father and Kevin. 

_ I thought it was you. _

Neil was so fucking screwed. 

The urge to run was an overbearing itch that Neil didn’t get the chance to scratch, unable to reach for his duffel with Wymack’s firm hold on his shoulder stopping him. “What happened last night? And I don’t want to hear any bullshit.”

He didn’t answer for a long while, his head still spinning and his stomach threatening disaster. Neil stared at the door behind Wymack, able to see the shadow of the person listening in, and he tensed. “Nothing.”

“Wrong answer.” Wymack held up his hand to silence him. “Andrew dragging your ass down the hall at two in the morning is not _ nothing. _What did I ask of you when you came here, Neil?”

The shadow didn’t waver, instead, it grew larger. “Honesty.”

“And what are you giving me?”

Neil’s eyes drifted to Wymack’s, and he looked as tired as he felt. “What do you want to hear, Coach?”

Wymack let out a deep sigh. “For God’s sake, I don’t need another attitude problem…”

The shadow retreated, as did the bite in Neil’s voice. “It’s between us.”

“Nope, not having it,” Wymack pointed to the door expectantly. “it becomes my problem when any of you put yourselves at risk. We’re sorting this out and you will _ all _cooperate, so get yourself presentable and be in my office in ten.” 

Neil stared at the duffel bag when Wymack retreated. It was almost cruel how it was sitting so inconspicuously at the end of his bed, frayed and innocent, like it had no power over him in the slightest. 

“Do you need some Advil, Neil?” Dan was in the corner fretting over Matt’s jaw, but to Neil she sounded underwater. “I’m sorry about all this, we should’ve known Andrew would try something.” 

“It’s fine.” _ It wasn’t, every time he blinked he saw his father. _

“Is it?” Matt asked, and Neil was unsure if he was reading his thoughts.

Neil took the offered Advil in silence. 

The walk down the corridor and staircase was a quiet affair, and Neil was sure his thoughts would grow tangible with how hard he was thinking. He clenched his fists, once, twice, and wondered if he mourned the sturdy straps of the duffel. It would’ve been easy to run, none of them would be able to stop him, but Neil couldn’t will himself to. He wanted to blame it on the drowsiness, but that was an easy cop-out. 

Andrew was already standing at the threshold, and the familiar smell of cigarette smoke wafted through the air. “Kevin told me who you are, or at least who you were,” He whispered when Neil was close enough. “let’s see if he’s right.”

Neil had no time to react, as he was shouldered into Wymack’s office and left to muster the strength of resurfacing his past. It was hard to think, and harder to voice, especially with the three of them watching, but he recited what he knew about the Moriyamas and what his mother had confessed about his father.

The Moriyamas were a powerful family of Dark Casters, a family Neil knew all too well. They gathered young Casters to use and abuse and experiment on, all under the guise of guidance and protection. He’d been taken to them as a child by his Cataclyst father, not having understood their fascination with him until many years later. They’d expected him to be like his father, to be like _ Riko, _ and if not for his mother’s bravery they would’ve torn him apart.

Mary Hatford wasn’t a perfect person, Neil could admit that, but without her he was fearful of the person he could’ve grown to be. _ A quiet voice told him it was inevitable, that it would all be in vain, but Neil silenced it. _

Kevin, unfortunately, was not as lucky, and as he listened to Neil by the opened window he felt only pity for him. He didn’t have an out after his mother’s death, had clearly taken too long to muster the strength to run, and it had cost him.

“My father had ties with the Moriyamas,” The honesty tasted foreign on Neil's tongue. “he played a role in collecting Casters for them. I was going to be one of them, but my mother ran away with me before he could pawn me off.” 

Wymack looked to Kevin for confirmation, and he nodded. The older man could only sigh, words failing him, but Neil didn’t need to hear them. It was Wymack’s actions that concerned him, and he knew he couldn’t be too surprised if he was kicked to the curb after the revelation. It was a heavy secret to carry after all.

"And where is your father now?" _Kevin doesn't know, _Neil told himself, _use that._

“He’s dead,” He lied, easy as breathing. “and his people have been after me ever since. I would like to hide out here until I move on… if you’re willing to have me.” It was a risk having both Kevin _ and _Neil in the same vicinity, but with (most of) the truth laid out on the table for both Wymack and Andrew Neil found it a little easier to breathe. 

Honesty was not meant to be a relief, but Neil couldn’t ignore the feeling the longer it persisted. Running was a tiring game, he eventually needed a reprieve, and maybe Neil had found it. All thoughts of the duffel were pushed to the back of his mind.

“Are they dangerous?”

“Yes, but it’s been years since I’ve seen any trace of them.”

“Okay.” Wymack rubbed his chin, his green eyes hardening. “If they come here, Neil, and endanger our people-”

“I’ll be gone before they can try.” Neil spoke with so much assurance he almost believed himself. “If I think they’re even a town away I’m gone, everyone will be safe.”

Wymack appeared sated, Kevin indifferent, but Andrew wasn’t entirely convinced.

“There’s something else,” Andrew clicked his fingers so Neil looked at him. “I know there is.” 

“Enough, Andrew, we’ve heard what we need to know.”

“No-” 

_ “Yes,” _ Wymack spoke with finality. “if you have any problems keep them to yourself. Neil doesn’t owe us any more explanations.” He turned to Neil and ignored Andrew’s scowl. “This is a safe place, I can assure you. You have a bed here for as long as you need it as _ long _ as you keep out of trouble.”

Neil couldn’t guarantee that, but he nodded nonetheless. 

Andrew stalked passed Neil on his way out, and it shocked the latter. He’d expected one final outburst, but he hadn't gotten one. It unsettled him, Neil gnawing at his lip as he watched his retreating body in what he feared was disappointment. 

Kevin, however, lingered. “I expected this to take longer. If I remember correctly, you’re stubborn.” 

“You don’t know anything about me, we’re strangers.” Neil ignored Kevin’s pointed look. Instead, he thought back to the way his skin had rippled and morphed, and he shivered. “Last night, did you really have to mimic _ him?” _

“I wanted to be sure.”

“You could’ve just asked.”

Kevin huffed. “And you would’ve run a mile before you could answer, Nathaniel.” 

Neil bristled. “Don’t call me that.”

“Whatever.” 

Neil stopped Kevin before he could disappear around the corner, the minor altercation as dizzying as waking up from passing out. He anticipated more fight or even panic from Kevin, but instead there was only a disconcerting nothing. “If you thought it was me, why approach me in the first place?” 

Kevin took a second to respond. “That’s why I did.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re staying,” Kevin muttered. “you’re no better.” 

Neil watched him go with a scowl. 

* * *

_The Raven Court was cold._

_ Whether it was the Casters or the concrete to blame, Nathaniel was unsure, but he was used to the feeling and how it settled deep in his bones. His father’s hands were cold, as were his eyes, and he felt oddly at home in the confines of the impressive structure. _

_ The mansion was larger than the Wesninski residence, with more buildings surrounding the home itself, and Nathaniel didn’t allow his mind to wander to the happenings behind those tall, bleak walls. _

_ He was lead into a living room with a firm grasp on his shoulder. The couches and chairs were all a deep red, the fire on the far wall alight and the wisps of the flames were not dissimilar to his own hair. Or his father’s. _

_ An imposing man was standing by the mantle, a glass of something in hand, and his face remained impassive upon their entrance as if they’d never entered at all. Nathan sat on the lounge in front of him, and Nathaniel was forced to follow. _

_ There were no formalities between them before Nathan started to speak. “I noticed it last night,” To an outsider he would sound proud, but Nathaniel knew better. His father wasn’t speaking fondly of a son, he was speaking more of an object that he’d invested in. Ten years had passed, and he'd finally gotten what he'd wanted. “when I struck him the window cracked.” _

_ The older man hummed and clicked at Nathaniel, who barely stirred beside his father. “Go ahead.” Nathaniel didn’t understand what he was asking, so he continued staring at the wall. He felt a pain flare at his side, his father’s fingers pinching his waist, but Nathaniel held steady. _

_ Without warning, the stranger strode across the lounge and backhanded Nathaniel, and Nathan made no effort to stop him. Something licked in Nathaniel’s stomach, something pressing and angry that he didn’t understand. _

_ He saw the fireplace erupt, the flames burning higher and brighter with a ferocity that wasn’t there prior. The heat was reflected in his father’s golden eyes, and they were hungry with something that made Nathaniel recoil. The fire dimmed, but the damage had already been done. _

_ Nathaniel was worlds away when Nathan and the man conversed with low voices, his eyes locked onto the fireplace as the coldness of the building threatened to freeze him completely. He felt pieces falling together, and that frightened him, but he kept as quiet and still as he’d been taught. _

_ Curious green eyes appeared around the corner as they were leaving, but they were soon swallowed by the double doors of the mansion slamming shut behind them. _

* * *

It was close to twelve when Neil watched Andrew disappear behind a bookshelf.

Matt had left him alone for the day despite how much it clearly pained him. Neil needed space, had even miraculously requested it, but Matt and the girls check ins were not as discreet as they thought they were. Kevin, on the other hand, kept his distance, and all Neil could do was wait for their next encounter and brace for the impact.

He was returning from the bathroom when he'd caught sight of Andrew.

Neil let a few minutes pass before he let his fingers trace the book Andrew had touched, the red spine lacking the dust that coated the rest of the collection. Neil tugged at it, and startled when the bookshelf opened to a dimly lit ascending staircase. 

The wooden steps creaked but Neil didn’t mind, too infatuated with following Andrew's path. He’d given up the chase too easily, and Neil couldn’t rest until he knew _ why. _Neil wondered briefly if what he was feeling was what drove Andrew when it came to unravelling his enigma.

The staircase ended at a door that opened up to the rooftop, the night air icy and ruffling his dyed hair. It was a small, flat space, positioned at the very top of the mansion, and was bracketed with short and stocky columns. Andrew was rested against one of them, a cigarette centimetres from his lips when he noticed Neil.

“I wondered how long it would take.” Was all he said, and Neil faltered by the threshold.

“I can go.”

“You’re already here,” Andrew motioned with his hands. “stay or jump for all I care.”

Neil planted himself a short distance from Andrew, the drop down to the ground dizzying. They stared at each other for a few long moments, and Neil’s throat felt too dry to get the words out. 

When he finally managed, his voice was scratchy. “You gave up pretty easy this morning, considering how fucking nosy you’ve been.”

“You surprised me.”

Neil’s mouth fell agape. “What?” 

“You told the truth,” Andrew stared out at the immaculate grounds, eyes disdainful, and Neil wondered what the hedges had done to him. “It was unexpected.”

_ Oh. _“Kevin already figured out who I was, it was only a matter of time before he told Wymack. It was useless.” Neil curled into himself, his chin rested safely on his knee. “I thought if I told the truth I would be able to stay a little longer, and maintain that trust.”

“Wymack would be stupid to trust a fugitive.”

“Maybe, but I’m still here, it has to mean something.” Neil was speaking more to himself, but Andrew didn’t need to be privy to that. 

“Miraculously, but I’m not that stupid. There’s something you’re not telling us.” Neil heard the _ me _ that should’ve taken its place, but he held his tongue. 

“It’s not important.”

“It’s enough to scare the shit out of you,” Andrew said. “you’ve always got that look in your eye, like a fox caught with a rabbit in its mouth.”

Neil’s face twisted into a grimace at the thought of his very alive father and his very pressing curse. “If we’re continuing this honesty, I don’t want to tell you or anyone that, Andrew.”

“Is that so?”

“I can give you other information, just not that.”

Andrew’s eyes glinted in the moonlight. “So we’re turning this into a game?”

“I guess.”

“Okay. Where’s your mother?”

_ Right for the jugular. _“She’s dead.”

“Oh dear.” It was curt, and not at all suited for the discussion, but Neil felt no anger. Anything else from Andrew would feel strange, any pity or condolence unsuited. 

Neil chose his question carefully. He understood how little he truly knew about Andrew, but there were more pressing concerns he had. “Do you still think I’m working for Riko?”

“No,” Andrew spoke with certainty, and Neil let out a quiet exhale. “your reaction proved you weren’t. You’re not _ that _ good at lying, _ Neil.” _

There was less animosity in Andrew’s voice than in the club, but the tension was still potent. “Is that your next question?” Andrew let it settle in the air between them, and it was an answer in itself. “I’ve had the name for a year and a half. It’s my name, the one _ I’ve _ chosen, and it’s the one I hope to keep for as long as I can.” 

“Is there anything about you that’s real?”

“My gut.”

“And what is it telling you?”

“Run.”

“And are you going to?”

“That’s three questions too many, Andrew.”

Andrew finally lit the cigarette, and it sat perched on his lips like a beacon. “You annoy me.”

Neil inhaled the smoke and let his eyes flutter shut. “No, you just can’t read me.” 

He stayed on the rooftop until it started to drizzle, and Andrew watched him leave with a heavy gaze.

In the morning, Neil found himself in the bathroom. 

Neil inspected his roots as he leaned over the sink, satisfied at the lack of auburn, albeit his eyes were still always a concern. He’d dabbled in coloured contacts but they’d been too irritating, and disrupted his vision when it mattered. 

Neil had to stick to his innate blue, but he also knew it wouldn’t matter soon enough, and he couldn’t help but prod the skin by his eyes with a frown. With significant effort he rubbed off the number on his hand, and scrawled a messy 78.

He dreamt that night of green and gold, and a fire so ferocious it swallowed him whole.


	4. 68

_NOVEMBER 12th_

Wymack organised a hiking trip on the only day it wasn’t scheduled to rain. 

Neil had a feeling Matt was told beforehand, as only the day previous he’d given him some sturdy boots after a shopping trip with Renee and Dan. Neil took them hesitantly, expecting to have to give something in return, but all Matt did was smile and tell a joke Neil didn’t understand. 

Nicky waved him over when Neil ventured outside in the frosty morning, his boots crunching the rocks below. He was wearing his warmest coat but Neil still felt under dressed, especially at the sight of an always stylish Allison. Her golden eyes followed him when he stood beside Nicky, her lips twisting into a sly grin. Neil swallowed hard.

The Siren was elusive, Neil barely having seen her around the hostel, and whenever she did slink around the corner Neil made it his mission to rush in the opposite direction. He was unsure if her powers had any control over him, with mortals and weaker Casters more susceptible to her charm, but Neil didn’t exactly want to test her. 

“I’m sure you’re all familiar with the path by now,” Wymack pointed to the forest and the mountains behind him, looking far too awake for the early hour. “keep to it and try not to maim each other.”

“I’d rather go stir crazy.”

Wymack ignored Aaron and bid them farewell.

Neil couldn’t understand the complaints, the fresh air and the smell of pine invigorating. It felt nice to stretch his legs, his calves thankful for the tranquil labour. It was unfamiliar, moving without necessity, and the mindless chatter around him relaxed Neil further.

“If we staged a mutiny we wouldn’t have to do this.”

“I quite like our hikes,” Renee said, earning an aghast look from Nicky. “we should do them more often.”

“Ignore him, Renee,” Allison drawled, running her fingers along Renee’s forearm before taking her hand. “he just loves to complain, it runs in the family.” Neil looked at their interwoven hands in confusion, baffled as to why Renee wasn’t shaking her off. 

Dan, having noticed, chuckled and whispered to him when the girls were out of range. “It’s a new development.” Neil’s face reddened at the implication, cursing himself for being so oblivious.

“Don’t worry,” Dan added. “Renee is more than capable of taking care of herself, Allison is a softie when it comes to her.” Neil thought of her fiery eyes and wicked grin, and didn’t see anything synonymous with _ soft. _She screamed danger, but Neil also didn’t know Renee enough to be able to judge that choice. 

Relationships were not Neil’s forte, and he doubted they ever would be.

They stopped at a flowing stream, the sound of the water calming. Neil perched on a rock and followed the fish with his eyes as the others rested, and drank, and ate. A shadow obstructed his vision and he glanced up, unsurprised to see Andrew who had been at the rear of the group for most of the walk.

“Can you stop the water?”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“You’re a Natural, or at least you want to be,” Andrew threw a heavy stone into the water and almost hit a fish. “that’s what your kind do.”

Neil shifted at Andrew’s use of words. “Not aimlessly.”

Andrew threw another stone. “What if I asked you to?”

“Would it shut you up?”

“No,” Andrew replied with certainty. “but it would make you less frightened of your own hands.”

“Why do you care?” 

“Is this part of the game?”

Neil listened to the water for a long moment, and Andrew’s eyes were just as steady. “Yes.”

“Your lack of control concerns me, especially around my own.” Neil’s eyes darted to the rest of the Monsters, his mouth falling open. “If you hurt them-”

“I won’t.”

_ “If,” _ Andrew raised an eyebrow, daring him to interrupt again. “you hurt them, you’ll regret it.” Andrew wouldn’t need to do anything to Neil. He would’ve torn himself apart before Andrew even had the chance. The extent of his abilities were a fear of his, the strength yet to be fully uncovered. Andrew didn’t need to be a Sybil to know that.

After inhaling the crisp air, Neil breathed out and halted the flow of water with a simple flick of his wrist. The fish continued to zip around under the water, just as puzzled as the group watching on. Andrew didn’t say anything even as Neil let the water flow again, his limbs light with the exertion.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Andrew finally muttered and flicked some of the water at Neil. 

It settled on his fingers, and Neil rolled the liquid into small spheres and flicked them right back at Andrew. Neil felt eyes on his back, the hairs on his neck bristling, and he turned to find Kevin watching him quietly. His eyes followed the spheres when they dropped into the stream, eyebrows furrowed.

“Never seen water before, Kevin?”

“He liked fire.”

Neil thought of his father, and fell silent. 

The track grew more congested the higher they climbed, the taller members of the group having to duck under low hanging branches and dodge thicker bushes. Neil was unperturbed, and Nicky stuck his tongue out when he noticed. “You could at least move some of the trees for us, Neil, come on.”

“I can’t move trees.”

“Have you tried?”

“Of course he hasn’t,” Andrew said, walking past them in a hurry.

Neil was surprised to see him so close to the group, but the surprise quickly morphed into understanding. Kevin, who had been leading the group, had frozen midstep. He was staring off at something Neil couldn’t see, and he weaved his way around Nicky and the others to follow Andrew.

He didn’t notice it at first, only seeing the wide expanse of trees and nothing that could’ve possibly put that look of horror on Kevin’s face. That was until Neil looked deeper. There, pinned to the bark of a tree, was a dead raven.

The majority of the group looked at the bird and looked away, deciding to keep walking. Out of ignorance or the sheer fact they knew better, Neil didn’t know. What Neil _ did _ know, was the raven was there for a reason, the warning as clear as the flowing stream.

Andrew was the one to step forward and inspect the bird, head tilted as he stroked its feathers. There was no blood, and no obvious sign of injury. The only indication it was even dead were its eerily unblinking eyes, not dissimilar from Kevin’s own.

Andrew pulled a small piece of paper out from under its wing, and glanced up at Kevin. “I think it’s for you.”

Kevin spun around and took off in the direction of the hostel, Nicky following him with wary eyes.

“What does it say?” Neil asked after Andrew skimmed across the paper. He remained silent, reading it over and over as if the words themselves would change. With a sharp burst of frustration Neil flicked his fingers, a gust of wind sending the paper into his open palm. Andrew eyes languidly found his, but his face remained carefully blank.

There were coordinates, and a time, and Neil was left in a state of bemusement. Andrew huffed and flicked the paper over, revealing a name that had Neil’s stomach bottoming out. _ David Wymack _was written loudly and boldly, and Neil couldn’t hold his tongue, “What do they want with him?”

“You think I know that?”

“Yes, I do.”

Andrew clicked at Aaron who had been standing quietly by a tree. He rolled his eyes but took off in the direction Kevin and Nicky had fled. Andrew glanced back at Neil with intent, “Are you coming? Or staying with them?”

Neil saw Renee standing at the top of the hill, the others nowhere in sight. Her hair was flowing in the breeze, and despite being a fair distance away Neil felt her presence, his skin crawling like someone had whispered in his ear. His feet made the choice for him, Neil falling in step behind Andrew for the second time that morning.

* * *

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Then don’t come.”

Nicky scowled at Andrew, “You know I’ll never say no to a late night escapade.”

“Then what is the problem?”

They were in the Monsters shared room, dressed like they were prepared for a night out. It was in case they were intercepted, their outfits supporting whatever bullshit explanation they’d give. Neil was perched by the door, listening to them go over the plan for the third time, and listening to Nicky’s concerns for the third time. 

“We’re lying to Wymack.”

“That’s never stopped us before,” Aaron said, his dark jacket far too large for him. _ It had to have been Nicky’s, _Neil thought.

“Yeah, but this is different,” Nicky pointed to the piece of paper on Kevin’s pillow. “it’s important.”

“That’s why we’re getting to the bottom of it before we tell him,” Kevin was stoic, but Neil could tell how rattled he was by the tremor in his hand. _ “If _we tell him…”

“I think he would like to know the Moriyamas are out for his head.”

Kevin’s golden eyes found Neil’s. They narrowed, “We don’t know if that’s what they want.”

Neil was overcome with exasperation, “What else would they want, Kevin?”

“You just answered your own question,” Andrew hummed and pushed his way past Neil, the five of them ready to embark on the night. 

The car ride was tense. Andrew had turned off the radio, leaving a heavy silence to brew between them. Neil tapped on the door to pass the time, ignoring the number imprinted on his skin and instead staring up at the clear sky. He could count the stars, so he did, Neil rarely having the luxury of sitting still to do so. The night was for running, not idling.

The coordinates took them not far from the club they’d taken him to all those nights ago, the streets uncanny in their stillness. It was late, but Neil had anticipated some kind of life. But there was nothing, nobody walking and no stray cats prowling. It left Neil even more on edge, fingers turning white with how tightly he gripped the door handle.

It was neither a building or a street, instead a dimly lit alleyway that spoke only of trouble. Andrew rounded the corner and parked a fair distance away, turning off the engine and sitting quietly for a long moment. He sent Kevin a sideways glance, as if waiting for him to cave and beg to be taken back to the safety of the mansion, but Kevin remained steadfast.

“There’s no one around,” Kevin said when they exited the car.

“We have time.” Andrew’s nonchalance was betrayed by the way his eyes were darting around the street, on the lookout for any kind of movement.

He found it in a young man on the other side of the street, appearing out of an alleyway with only a duffel in hand. Andrew sent Neil a look, and he knew he wasn’t imagining the wry humour in the subtle twitch of his lips. Neil bit his tongue, deciding to focus on the young man who had disappeared as abruptly as he appeared.

“Was that enough time?”

“Yes.”

Neil watched Kevin’s transformation with fascination, marvelling the way it smoothly morphed his features. It was as if he had walked through a waterfall, his previous face overtaken by a strange second skin. His skin lightened and his jaw structure grew less defined, Kevin blinking rapidly as his eyes changed to an electric blue. Kevin cracked his neck, flexing his muscles as if he were testing out the new skin that bound him. 

“It’s fucking weird, isn’t it?” Nicky whispered from behind him, Neil suppressing a shiver at their close proximity. “He doesn’t do it a lot.”

Andrew lead them to the alleyway. Aaron had to elbow Nicky to be quiet when he started nervously whistling, Neil having to constantly remind himself it was Kevin beside him, not a stranger. He thought of how Kevin had taken his father’s face and shuddered, attributing it to the cool breeze and not the sour memory.

Nicky, Neil and Aaron stayed by the mouth of the alley, hidden behind a rubbish bin as the other two entered. They really didn’t need to be there, but Andrew had insisted, not wanting them out of his sight. Neil struggled to understand the reasoning behind what Andrew did, and wasn’t planning on starting to understand tonight. 

They couldn’t see the face of the man in the alley, but Neil could tell he didn’t hold himself like a Moriyama. With slouched shoulders, and feet that didn’t keep still, Neil’s stress soon morphed into intrigue. Kevin held the man still as Andrew stepped forward and peered into his face, discovering all they needed to know with one long glance.

When satisfied, Andrew stepped back, head tilted slightly. “It didn’t answer everything.”

“What’s missing?”

“The why,” Andrew pushed the man in the shoulder, who recoiled at his touch. “But I have a feeling he’s not meant to know.”

The man exhaled sharply. It was when Neil noticed his dazed state, and bloodshot eyes, that the pieces fell together. He was not meant to be menacing, or a physical threat, the man simply there to relay a message that the Moriyamas thought below them.

He started to speak, the words strained like they were being forced out of him. “David Wymack, you must yield, or you will suffer the consequences.” 

“Why now?” Andrew asked.

“David Wymack, you must yield, or you will suffer the consequences.”

“They know where Kevin is, have for a while,” Kevin flinched, but Andrew continued, “why now?"

“David Wymack, you must yield, or you will suffer-”

Kevin abruptly lashed out at the man, taking his throat in his hand before he roughly shoved him into the wall. Neil tried to move forward but Nicky’s hands secured around his shoulder, hard as a vice. As his anger heightened Kevin’s facade slowly begun to melt away, his features flickering back and forth, gold overtaking blue.

“We need to get him out of there,” Nicky whispered. “If he blows his cover-”

“He won't.” Aaron said, but Neil wasn't so sure. 

They didn’t want the man to see Wymack _ or _ Kevin, they didn’t want the Moriyamas to know they were curious and had taken the bait. But after every threat Kevin looked far past reason and logic, and Andrew looked more inclined to violence. The plan was unravelling, and all Neil could do was watch.

Kevin’s head tilted and Neil could feel the tension in the alleyway shift. It had grown electric, and Neil felt almost drawn to the power Kevin was radiating. There was a familiar controlled intensity in his eyes, one Neil had been subject to and one Neil loathed with all of his being.

“Why are the Moriyamas bothering Wymack now?” He asked, the man shrinking under his gaze. 

Something in his face cleared, like a car flying through fog and disrupting how it settled. “I didn't ask, I don’t… know.” His voice shook, whimpering in Kevin’s grasp. “They… he just told me to-”

_ “Who?” _

“Tetsuji Moriyama.”

Kevin’s last nerve broke. 

He whispered something into the man’s ear before moving away, watching with an eerie detachment as the man repeatedly slammed his own head into the brick wall behind him. It was harsh and violent and Neil felt every impact, the sound of cracked bone roiling his stomach. The man soon collapsed, body falling limp and swallowed by the darkness of the alley.

Neil shrunk back as Kevin morphed fully back into himself, grimacing as he heard the man take a final gasping breath. He could smell blood, and it loosened his lips. “You killed him.” Kevin turned towards him, his eyes wide and unfocused.

“Stop it.” Andrew said, clicking his fingers in front of Kevin’s face who still appeared in a daze. “_ Stop it. _”

Neil, who wasn't sure what was happening, took several steps back from the pair. “What's happening to him?” 

Nicky’s smile was nervous. “He loses it sometimes. He’ll be fine.”

“It's not him I'm worried about.” Neil replied, knowing exactly what Kevin was capable of and worrying he’d be caught in the crossfire. He had his own abilities to worry about, he didn’t need to keep an eye on Kevin either. _ That was Andrew’s job. _

“Kevin, you’re annoying me.” Andrew clicked again, unbothered by the state Kevin was in. “If you do something stupid I’ll do something stupid back, and it’ll hurt for a week.”

Kevin was yet to move, and Neil was tired of looking at him.

He looked up and saw a pipe, curling his fingers and begging the water out of it. It burst through the pipe and coated Kevin’s entire body, Neil feeling it flow like the blood in his veins. It was enough of an icy shock to snap him out of his daze, Kevin coughing and wiping the water out of his eyes and spitting it out of his mouth.

“Are you good, Kevin?” Nicky asked, brown eyes wide and fearful.

Kevin blinked a few more times and nodded, decidedly ignoring the body on the ground next to him. Andrew didn’t ignore it. He grabbed the man’s legs and started to drag him out of the alley, Aaron paling and saying he’d drive the car round. Andrew threw his keys to Nicky who didn’t look back, and didn’t linger to catch Aaron’s reaction.

His annoyance was palpable, “I can drive.”

“I don’t want you to drive my car.”

They argued like Kevin hadn't just killed a man. They argued like Wymack’s life wasn’t in danger. They argued like they hadn’t been given answers and yet so many more questions.

* * *

Neil stumbled into Kevin in the kitchen later that night.

He was hunched over the sink, shoulders to his ears, and Neil was entirely too inept to help him. He hoped to exit the kitchen without him knowing, but Kevin’s quiet murmur stopped Neil in his tracks. 

“He wasn’t the first.”

“First what?”

Kevin turned around. He had a similar look of resigned tiredness that Wymack sometimes had on his face. “First person I’ve killed.”

The kitchen felt too small for the conversation, too mundane, and it left Neil with a horrible ache in the back of his throat. Neil had grown up around death, and pain, but he had managed to avoid it for so long that now it left him a little unsteady on his feet, needing time to readjust on unstable ground.

“Is he going to be the last?”

Kevin took too long to answer. “Probably not.”

“Does Andrew know?”

“He knows everything,” Kevin rubbed his face, eyes a beacon in the darkness. “It’s why he’s helping me.” He didn’t elaborate, but he didn’t need to. Neil would ask Andrew, and Andrew would tell him, would have to.

Kevin, on the other hand, didn’t seem like he’d do the same. That didn’t stop Neil’s flow of questions, “Why did you choose the Dark?”

He inhaled sharply, “I didn’t.” After a few beats Kevin added, “Riko did.” 

The battered puzzle pieces of Kevin’s life were coming together slowly, but surely. Neil knew he was only with the Moriyamas because his mother had died, and that because of his talent he was used for the unspeakable. The others had said Riko played a major role in his claiming, Neil hadn’t doubted it, but it still stung to hear Kevin himself confirm it. 

Neil thought of his curse, and rubbed a shaky finger over the number on his hand. “What was it like?”

The look on Kevin’s face was wretched, and a loud part of Neil preferred the blankness from the alleyway. “It was agonising.” 

_Kevin lay collapsed on the floor, sweating profusely as the moonlight beamed down on him. He had walked past the open skylight for years, yet never did he believe such a small space could be the cause of such agony._ _He had seen it happen countless times before to a multitude of Ravens, yet he had never been able to see himself in their position._

_ It was his fate, _ Jean had seen it _ , yet he had refused to believe. _

_ “If you choose wrong you know what will happen,” Riko hissed into his ear, scratching a small and intricate pattern into his temple as Kevin’s body trembled. “You know where you belong. With me, beside me. You are mine.” _

_ He wanted so desperately to call out for his mother, to let the Light consume him and destroy whatever path fate had forged for him. Kevin Day, however, was never destined for a future that included free will. He was born and bred to be a puppet, his strings made of iron and unable to be so easily cut. _

_ Kevin’s vision was blurred by a golden haze, a quiet cry escaping his lips when Riko took hold of his cheeks. The sick smile was almost enough to break him from his pain induced stupor, but it was too much to ignore. He could feel the change as it coursed through him, the icy cold in his veins warping and altering his mind, his previous self bleeding out of him. _

_ When it was over Kevin slumped to the ground, forehead pressed against the cool tile. He allowed himself a single tear, one Riko mocked, and Kevin built a wall around his heart faster than his eyes had changed from green to gold. _

_ The puppeteer was pleased. _

“Neil,” Kevin said his name like it pained him. “Don’t choose the Dark.”

He shifted under his gaze, Neil hiding his hand behind his back. “It wasn’t the plan-”

_ “Nathaniel.” _His eyes were frightened, unseeing. The sight rattled Neil. “Don’t.”

Neil wished it was that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the almost two month wait, I had a lot of other things in the works and uni took up a lot of my spare writing time.  
Thank you for sticking with the story if you're still here, I appreciate it!


	5. 52

_ NOVEMBER 28th _

The days passed quicker now that Neil had friends, the number of them growing as the number on his hand dwindled.

It was still a foreign feeling, Neil wary to even call them friendships. It was something new and exciting, something he didn't want to fear. He was still getting used to their casual conversations, their small gifts and easy smiles. Neil didn’t know what they saw in him, what made them keep on coming back, but he couldn’t complain. Being alone for so long left a hole in his chest, one they were slowly starting to fill.

It would make leaving them harder than he thought it would be, but Neil was willing to sink his teeth in while he still could.

A cigarette was waved in front of Neil, drawing him from his musings. He blinked, and noticed Andrew’s armbands, the man himself looking right through Neil. It had become a habit for them to sit on the roof together, Andrew not asking him to leave confirmation enough he wanted Neil to stay. It was mostly spent in silence, and always broken by curiosity. 

“Whose turn is it?”

It was Andrew’s turn to blink. “Mine.” Neil waited for his question, the wind dragging his curls across his forehead. Andrew’s short hair was barely mussed. “What number are you on?”

Neil stared down at his hand. It was a strange waste of a question, Andrew able to simply look at Neil for confirmation. It left him on edge, something hidden behind Andrew’s words. “Fifty two.”

Andrew took a drag of the cigarette and didn’t elaborate. 

Neil was quick to find his voice, not willing to let his own question go to waste. His conversation with Kevin still haunted him, even when Kevin himself seemed apparent it never existed. “What’s your deal with Kevin?” 

“Finally something worth asking.” Andrew snubbed out the cigarette, the remnants of the smoke licking between them. It was all Neil could smell, the haze coiling around his rib cage and squeezing tight. It was of a similar intensity to Andrew’s eyes on him, unforgiving and lingering. 

“I’ve looked at a lot of people, seen a lot. He was one of the worst.” Andrew looked away from Neil, eyes hardening. If Neil hadn’t been studying Andrew’s face he wouldn't have noticed the change. “He did something I approved of, so I let him stay on the condition he helps me when I need him to, and only if it benefits him as well.”

“What did he do?”

Andrew was silent, absently fiddling with the burnt out cigarette. It was information that had a certain heaviness to it, Neil could tell. 

“He killed someone who deserved it,” was what Andrew settled with.

Neil nodded, noting it was his turn to offer something and yet Andrew had still given the information to him. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Don’t give me that,” Andrew huffed, staring down at the grounds below. “You don’t need to thank me for anything.”

“You’re letting me stay.”

“At this point I think I’d be murdered in my sleep by the others if I let you go.”

“You like having me around,” the words surprised even Neil, who had spoken them with confidence and certainty. Andrew stilled, and Neil couldn’t help himself. “Gives you something to do.”

Andrew clenched his right fist, then slowly unclenched it. He looked from the ground, to Neil, then back to the ground. “You’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

_ That was truer than he realised.  _ Neil’s smile faltered. “Andrew?”

Andrew’s hum was a clear  _ what? _

“The number on my hand,” he started to say, feeling like he owed Andrew something as equally weighted. “It’s more than just a countdown to my claiming.”

“I’m aware.”

“No-” Neil cut himself off, irritated at himself for bringing it up when he knew the words stung so badly. But if Andrew of all people trusted him, Neil thought he could trust him back. “It’s… I don’t-”

“There you two are!”

Neil was immediately on his feet, turning to see Nicky’s head in the doorway. Neil was stunned for a moment, wondering for how long Andrew’s hideaway had been compromised. From his keen interest on Neil he may have known for a while, yet did not care, Nicky the last of his concerns. 

Nicky took the quiet as shock. “I know where you go, Andrew, I’m not as clueless as you think I am. I’m just nice enough not to bother you.”

Andrew still refused to take his eyes off Neil. “You’re bothering me now.”

“That’s because free drinks are involved.”

Andrew snapped out of whatever force was pulling him towards Neil. “At whose expense?”

“The girls,” Nicky leaned against the wall, dimples on his cheeks. “I think we’re celebrating Neil’s one month here, or at least that’s the excuse they came up with.”

Neil narrowed his eyes. “And they want all of  _ you  _ there?”

Nicky laughed good-naturedly. “I  _ know,  _ but hey, we won’t say no to alcohol.”

Andrew didn’t follow. He remained perched where he was, a slight furrow to his brow. Neil felt bad for leaving him on that ledge, the answer right on the tip of Neil’s lips, destined not to fall. Not tonight, at least. It may have been the only chance Neil would get, the confidence to speak his secret smothered and tucked away. 

Neil swallowed hard and followed Nicky down the staircase, not looking back.

* * *

They were gathered in a room Neil had never been in before, but considering the enormity of the mansion he wasn’t all that surprised.

Located on the bottom floor it was a lot like the lounge, but larger, with less furniture taking up the space. Intricate columns lined the walls, with couches and chairs placed haphazardly around for when the alcohol got to be too much. There was an abundance of orange decor, pillows and rugs that made for an eyesore.

Matt greeted him warmly with a plastic cup and a bottle of something, Neil shaking his head before he could pour it. “I don’t drink.”

Matt nodded and gestured to the assortment on a table behind him. “We’ve got plenty of non alcoholic drinks to go around, Renee makes sure to stock up for nights like this. She doesn’t drink either, so don’t feel left out.”

He found Renee by the table, nursing a bottle of water. She poured something fruity in Neil’s cup, sweet but not to the point it was unbearable. Renee watched him for a long moment. “Will Andrew be joining us tonight?”

“Isn’t he your friend?”

“He has taken a liking to you as well.” 

Renee had an uncanny ability of revealing everything and nothing at all when she spoke, her words clear and blurry all at once. It shouldn't have surprised Neil, Seers were like that. But Neil had never gotten close to one, had never shared a space or breath with one. He supposed that would be his next question for Andrew.

“It didn’t seem like he wanted to come,” Neil settled on saying, hugging his drink close to his chest. “I doubt this is something he’d enjoy.”

“I’m sure he’d be willing to make an exception.” Renee smiled and sipped her water, just as Allison appeared and pulled her into her waist. She eyed Neil with less animosity, like a shark willing to swim beside you instead of tearing into your flesh.

“I’m happy you came,” she said. “Would’ve been awkward if the man of the hour didn’t show.”

“You didn’t need to do this for me.”

“No, we didn’t. But it’s an easy excuse to get drunk.”

“Since when have we ever needed an excuse,” Dan passed them with pillows stacked high, Neil following her with his eyes as she dumped them in the centre of the room. Matt was close behind, throwing them and barely missing her head. Neil had no idea what they were doing.

The others seemed to get the hint, sitting on the cushions and forming a tipsy circle. Even Aaron joined in, albeit further back than the rest, but Nicky took it as a win based on his wide grin. Neil settled beside Kevin, who brooded into his vodka, still yet to say a single word to Neil. 

The space beside Neil was bare, the pillow with a fox embroidered on the side his only company.

Until Andrew lowered himself onto it, knees pulled to his chest. 

Neil hadn’t seen him enter the room, or grab the entire bottle of whiskey for himself. The others were openly staring, all but Renee who simply waved at Andrew kindly. Andrew didn’t react to them, merely taking a swig and keeping his mouth shut. His eyes landed on Neil once, assessing, before they rested on the wall in front of him.

“Now what?” Allison asked, her chin on Renee’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know I kind of just-” Dan waved her hands around. “-did that.” Neil got the impression she had started drinking earlier than the rest of them. It was a touching sentiment nonetheless, wanting them all to sit with one another instead of settling in groups around the large room.

“We can play a drinking game,” Nicky announced. “It’ll be fun and hopefully friendly… and don’t worry Neil, we’ll explain the rules.” 

Aaron was unamused. “We’re not sixteen, Nicky.”

Nicky’s wide, emerald eyes paired with his pout made for an interesting sight. “You’re never any fun.”

“I’m with Nicky,” Matt clapped his hands, disrupting Dan who was resting in his lap. “it’s about time we do something together without wanting to tear each other apart.” Some of their eyes settled on Neil, who shrunk away slightly.

They decided on truth or dare, resulting in Aaron complaining they weren’t twelve. Nicky ignored him and explained the premise to Neil, who understood the game just fine but humoured him anyway. Lying would result in a shot, refusing a dare would result in two and a bruise to the ego. Neil felt content, aware they wouldn’t know if he was lying or not. Andrew would know, but Andrew was still yet to say anything, none of them willing to ask if he wanted to join in on the game. 

Things started off tame, the truths a lot of in jokes Neil didn’t understand and the dares all juvenile requests from sculling drinks to kissing your neighbour. Kevin took two shots for refusing to kiss Nicky, who looked both amused and disappointed at the same time. Neil felt light under the laughter, joining in with quips when he could. It felt nice, forgetting everything for a moment, Neil wondering why they didn’t do this more often. 

It was Aaron’s turn to ask, so he focused on Neil. The look on his face was unfriendly, so Neil decided on a truth. 

“Why do you follow Andrew around?”

Neil’s drink was stilted halfway to his lips.  _ Did he follow Andrew around?  _ It felt more equally weighted, the two of them dancing around one another, too enthralled to understand one another to stop and question what it looked like to the others. Neil didn’t really care what anyone thought, as there was nothing really between them besides a complicated allure. 

But when Neil tried to answer, nothing seemed right. He chewed and swallowed words, gliding them across his teeth and swiping them across his tongue until, “He’s interesting.”

The others perked up at that, Andrew still keeping his cool composure. 

Aaron grimaced. “He barely speaks, idiot.”

“He just doesn’t speak to you, idiot.” Neil’s lips quirked at that look on Aaron’s face. “Would you rather I follow you around?”

“I’d rather you leave and never come back.”

“Okay!” Nicky pulled his body between them, blocking them from looking at each other. “Let’s play nice, enough of that.” He looked to Andrew who was unmoved, Neil wondering where his head was if he was able to ignore their spat without any retorts.

“It’s your turn, Neil.” Renee’s voice seemed to bottle up the rest of the brewing tension, her gesturing hands sweeping it away neatly.

Neil’s eyes roamed the circle, landing on Allison. “Truth or dare?”

She tapped her chin with a single, manicured nail. “Truth.”

“Why do you like Renee?”

Allison stared at him for a long while, golden eyes sparking with something unreadable. Her shoulders tensed, then relaxed. “She was there for me when I needed it the most.” Renee held her hand, unbothered by Neil’s question, and planted a kiss on Allison's shoulder. “After…” Allison sucked on her lip, refusing to elaborate. Neil didn’t push her.

Something did, however, push a bottle of vodka on the table behind them, crashing to the floor and spreading glass and liquid everywhere.

Neil jumped instinctively. He glanced around the room, going through their abilities in his mind trying to figure out who had the capacity for something like that. He came up with nothing, Neil the only one able to. But it was impossible. He hadn’t tried, hadn’t wanted to, there was no way…

“Seth?”

It was a name unfamiliar to Neil, but visibly familiar to the rest of them with the wave of uneasiness that spread around the circle. Even Andrew had perked up, eyes alert and scanning the room. Allison tried again, her voice cracking. The calm look on Renee’s face had shattered with the glass, a concentrated frown on her face.

Another bottle tumbled to the ground. Wymack, who had been walking past, poked his head into the room. “You know someone has to pay the cleaning bill, right? And it’s not any of you.”

Dan shook her head. “It’s not-” Another glass fell, Matt cursing when a shard flew into his hand.

At the sight of the blood Neil inhaled sharply, anger replacing his confusion. The window opened without much effort, Neil gathering a wind that swept up the glass and the bottles still standing. He directed them to the corner, safely placing them down and securing pillows on top of them, refusing to let anyone else be injured.

Neil jumped when he noticed something in the corner of his eye, the shadowy shape imposing. He was shoved hard into Kevin by a phantom force, who spilled his drink with a colourful curse. Andrew was on his feet, eyes alight, looking to Renee who grasped whatever look he was sending her.

She uttered something, and the phantom slowly faded into nothingness. 

Allison left the room in a flurry, Renee following her closely. Neil pulled himself upright, Kevin not showing any desire to help him. The room buzzed with activity, whispers and sharp bursts of movement all Neil could focus on. He eventually made his way to Matt who was being healed by Aaron, the blood trickling back into the cut as he held his wrist.

“What was that?” Neil asked to no one in particular.

“A ghost we’d like to forget,” Dan was far more sober than she was ten minutes ago. “Thank you for helping with the bottles.”

“Yeah, that was cool, Neil.” Nicky clapped Neil on the shoulder, who did his best not to wrench himself out of the touch. “Should’ve seen it coming.” It was a joke, one he told all too often, but Neil didn’t see the humour in Nicky one day seeing his true nature and the colour of his eyes before he saw it himself.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Andrew drawled, returning from closing the window.

Neil had nothing to say to that.

* * *

Allison was the one to sought Neil out.

It was the day after, the others ignoring what had happened and taking it in their stride. They had a habit of doing that, Neil having more in common with them than he initially thought. He was sitting in the vast garden on a bench, needing the feel the wind between his fingers to soothe the nightmare that had woken him.

She sat down beside him, Allison's hair hitting his cheeks before she pulled the long strands into her coat. Her face was bare, Neil able to see the faint freckles on her nose and the purple circles under her eyes. She was less intimidating, more human, and Neil didn’t feel like she was any sort of threat in this state.

“Are you hurt?” She asked the question like it was an obligation, not born from worry.

Neil thought of the bruise on his arm. “I’ve dealt with worse, a shove is nothing.”

“Figured.” Allison was quiet, content with just sitting with him. It took a while for Allison to answer his unasked question. “Seth used to live here. He was an Illusionist, and one night he got drunk, created something in his head and didn’t account for how far down the drop from the roof was.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Allison rolled her eyes. “Was so fucking stupid, a shit way to die.”

Neil didn’t know if he expected grief, but her lack of a reaction was just as difficult to deal with.

“You know,” she started to say, watching the birds as they basked in the brisk morning air. “With choosing the Dark I’m not supposed to feel anything. A lot of the time I don’t, people cry and I just watch them. But sometimes there’s a leaky hole and I feel everything,” she inhaled, teeth bared. “A lot of the time it’s anger, so much that I can’t take it.”

“Did Seth make you angry?”

“Every goddamn day,” Allison curled into herself. “It’s why I latched onto him, he’s the only person that could make me feel anything other than nothingness. Even in death, he makes me angry… it’s why he’s still here, or at least that’s what Renee says. Unfinished business and all that.”

Neil wondered briefly what he would do if his mother’s ghost haunted him, following him around and watching every bad decision he made. It was an uncomfortable thought, Neil unsure if he’d be able to tell her no if it came down to it. 

“Renee can communicate with Sheers, so she talks to Seth for me.” Neil had opened a dam, Allison continuing to talk. She wasn’t looking at him, didn’t know if Neil was even listening. He hung onto every word. “He won’t accept he’s dead, or that I’m with Renee. He just won’t leave.”

“You could ask him nicely.”

Allison flashed a smile, eyes glinting. “Why didn’t I think of that before?”

A bird settled on the ground in front of them. Neil used the puddle adjacent to flick some water at it, the bird fluffing its wings, unperturbed. It seemed to have liked it, so Neil did it again, and again. He ended up giving the bird a shower, and others that followed the water. 

Allison pursed her lips, eyes lingering on the number on his hand. “I hope you make the right choice, Neil.”

Neil thought of his nightmare, of golden eyes not too dissimilar to Allison's own. “I’ll be fine.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Allison left it at that. Neil didn’t push her to continue. Neil didn’t want her too.


	6. 35

_ DECEMBER 15th _

The bathroom was one of the few places Neil could go where he wouldn’t be interrupted.

His shower was scalding, Neil relishing in how the droplets felt against his skin. Absently he watched the number on his hand fade, the 36 soon to be replaced with a 35. It was getting frightening close to a month away. He knew he should’ve been preparing to leave, he’d be cutting it too close otherwise, but Neil wanted to stay.

He had a bed, a roof over his bed, people who knew him. There was yet to be any sign he had been tracked down by his father’s people.

_ Neil wanted to stay. _

The pipes creaked long after Neil had turned the water off. He stood in the shower, hanging his head so the water dripped from his hair and to his feet. It was then when he noticed a dark spot of dye. Neil blinked, and it was gone, but he ran his hand through his hair all the same. He wondered how he’d get his hand on some dye. 

After securing his towel he stepped out, looking up at the mirror and nearly slipping back into the tub. The number 35 was scrawled onto the steam, bold and jagged. Neil was close to slipping again as he dove for it, hurriedly wiping it off to reveal his taut face staring back at him.

He found Andrew in the hall when he’d changed, his black jumper swallowing him whole. He was indifferent, as always, especially after breaking into the bathroom while Neil was showering. 

“I’d prefer if you scratched the number into the door with one of those knives of yours.”

“I’ll make sure to do that next time.”

“There won’t be a next time.”

Andrew made no effort to move.

Neil crossed his arms. “What do you want?”

“We’re going to try something.” Andrew started to make his way down the corridor, not hesitating to wonder if Neil was following. He would, and he was. “You should’ve waited to shower.”

“If I knew you were planning something I would’ve.”

“It was a spontaneous decision.”

Neil doubted that. Everything Andrew did was calculated.

They managed to make it to the gardens without intercepting anybody. All but Renee, who was sitting under a tree reading. She spotted them, lifted her head and smiled, then returned to her business. Neil had a feeling her presence wasn’t a coincidence. 

Andrew led Neil to the edge of the forest. He sat on a stump, chin in hand, and used his other hand to point to a tree. “Light that on fire and put it out.”

“Andrew.”

“Neil.”

Neil shoved his hands under his armpits. “I’m not scared.” Andrew huffed, but remained silent. “It’s… I don’t know how it works.” 

“If you practised you would know.” Andrew said, like he’d walked in Neil’s shoes, like it was as easy as riding a bike. 

“It’s not that simple.”

“Does everything in your life need to be difficult?” 

It coaxed a surprised laughter out of Neil. It was slightly choked, fleeting, but laughter all the same. Neil couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard it. “You have no idea.”

Andrew picked up a stick and pointed it at Neil. “I’m beginning to have an idea.” He motioned to the tree again. “Try.” 

Neil sent a cautious glance in Renee’s general direction. He tugged his lips in his teeth, then spat them back out again, glaring at the tree like it had cursed him. “What if I can’t put it out?” 

“We’ll deal with that. But we can’t if you don’t try.” Neil, on instinct, turned to argue. Andrew, on instinct, stopped him. “You know why I’m bothering, I told you. It’s not my fault if you don’t remember.”

_ If you hurt them, you’ll regret it. _

Neil flexed his fingers. He closed his eyes and focused, thinking of fire, and all the times he had wielded it. He could count them on one hand. It could’ve been two, given repressed memories and all, but none of that was important. What was important was Andrew’s scrutiny, and the tree that was still yet to catch on fire. 

Nothing happened for several moments. Neil’s brows were furrowed, his shoulders tense, but there was only more of the same. Nothing. In a bout of frustration he flicked his hand, the sudden gust of wind ruffling their hair and cooling their cheeks. It calmed him down, only a little, and Neil reopened his eyes.

“That was wind.”

“I noticed.” 

“Why?”

Neil tilted his head. “Why what?”

“Why wind and not fire?”

He thought of the easy conjuring of wind, of the way it immediately bent to his will, listening keenly like an old friend. It had always been that way, had always been one of those things he struggled to grasp. “Wind is easier.”

“And fire isn’t?”

“Fire doesn’t happen like the others.” Neil looked down at his hands, like he expected the flames to pour from the lines on his palms. “The water, the wind, I can control that from its source. But fire…”  _ It comes  _ from  _ me, and I don’t know where or how and that scares the shit out of me. _

“Has a mind of its own.”

Neil’s lips twisted. “I don’t think so.” 

Andrew hummed. He looked at Neil for a long moment, really looked, before throwing a small rock at Neil’s forehead. It hit him dead in the centre, and Neil jerked backwards. Before he could open his mouth Andrew threw another, then another, the rocks hitting bone with an incredible accuracy. His elbows, his knees, his ankles. 

“Andrew-” Neil managed to dodge one aimed for his wrist. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Andrew continued the onslaught. He started to throw two, sometimes three at once. With every hit Neil felt a spark, bursting in his stomach and simmering down every nerve ending. Neil might not have understood his abilities, but he understood irritation. He understood how quickly irritation turned to anger.

Without having to think, a flame appeared from Neil’s wrist. It licked up his palm and settled in the crevice of his fingers, passing across his nails before launching at the tree beside Andrew. Neil felt the heat in his chest, suffocating and pressing down until his breathing was ragged. 

“Anger.” Andrew stood. The flames distorted his face, making his harsh edges appear even harsher. Neil was not frightened, not when Andrew tapped his chest, alleviating some of the pressure. “Use it, control it, understand it.”

Neil thought of his father, of the scars and burns that littered his body, proof of his hot temper. He grit his teeth, hands shakier than he cared to admit. “No.”

“No?”

“I don’t want anything to do with it.”

“That’s like saying you don’t want anything to do with your shadow, and that’s stupid.” Andrew pressed a little harder. “Despite the contrary, I don’t think you are, not quite at least. There’s hope for you yet.” 

Neil conjured water from the nearest stream. It flew through the air and coated the tree, Neil unsure if the sizzle was from the flame or his own deflation. Andrew barely reacted as some of the water hit him, getting in his hair and on the tips of his lashes. He blinked them away, his expression barely changing. 

“I can’t, Andrew.”

“Why not?”

He bit his tongue, hard. “I would be no better than him.” 

Neil did not need to elaborate, Andrew always read between the lines. Neil was sure he wrote the goddamn book, given how well he always seemed to understand. Andrew had put a lot of the pieces of Neil together by himself. Always accurate, always blunt. Neil got the impression he spoke from experience sometimes.

“You won’t take any pleasure in it, you won’t use it to hurt, that doesn’t sound the same. If you were anything like you say he was, I would’ve killed you.” 

_ Was.  _ Neil wondered if he would ever be able to tell Andrew the truth. Neil wondered if he would even get the chance. 

“We’ll keep doing this until you can control it. Or else you’ll explode, and I’m not fireproof.”

Neil huffed. “Pretty sure there are fire extinguishers around, you’ll be fine.” 

He was unsure if he was imagining the slight amused quirk of Andrew’s lips. A part of Neil, a part he didn’t understand, hoped he hadn’t.

They made it back to the mansion in one piece. A few more trees and shrubs had been set alight, then promptly doused, Andrew not taking his eyes off Neil even for a moment. It was a strange feeling, being observed like that. But under Andrew’s watchful eye it did not feel as uncomfortable as he thought it should have.

Upon entering the kitchen for a late breakfast, Neil’s eyes scanned the room. Dan was sitting at the table, Matt was sleepily cooking eggs, and Nicky was perched against the wall. His mug stilled when he noticed them enter, his green eyes glinting with something Neil had to brace himself for.

“Where have you two been and why-” Nicky sniffed the air for good measure. “-do you smell like burnt toast?”

Andrew didn’t answer. He went straight to the freezer, grabbing a small tub of ice cream and fleeing the room. Neil did his best not to follow. He loitered, eventually wandering to Matt who beamed at the sight of him. That was also something to get used to, a surprisingly welcomed something. Matt added a few more eggs for Neil. 

Neil finished his breakfast before Matt, used to eating quickly. His stomach had long since stopped protesting, not cramping like it did in those first few weeks on the run. He washed his plate, thinking he’d successfully avoided the subject, but Nicky intercepted him before he had the chance to leave.

“Seriously, Neil, what were you two doing?”

There was no point in lying. “He was helping me.”

Nicky looked, in all sense of the word, dumbfounded. “Why?”

“Ask him yourself.”

“You know I can’t.” 

Nicky sidestepped in front of him when Neil shifted. Most of Neil’s temper had been extinguished with the flame, but there was always an inch lingering, waiting to catch. Nicky was playing with fire without even realising. Neil soon dismissed that thought entirely. A man who lived in close company with Aaron and Andrew couldn’t have been that oblivious. 

“Was he… he wasn’t… you aren’t hurt, are you?”

_ Maybe Neil had spoken too soon. _

Neil barely reined in the heat on the tip of his tongue. “I’m not sure how long you’ve all known Andrew, but you don’t give him nearly enough credit.”

Nicky’s face fell. “I’m just looking out for you Neil, you know what he’s like.”

Neil had seen the side of Andrew Nicky was talking about, had faced it head on. Neil had also seen the side of Andrew the others had probably never seen, or chosen to look away from. Neil had faced it head on, merely an hour ago, a fierce loyalty and protection. Andrew’s attention was not given to just anyone, and it was a revelation Neil could not ignore or underestimate.

“Do you?”

Matt appeared in Neil’s peripheral, hands raised. “Let’s cool off a little, alright? It’s too early for an argument.”

Dan’s voice cut through the tension. “It’s almost twelve, Matt.” 

“I’m not arguing.” With that, Neil left the kitchen. He almost ran into Aaron on his way out. He was gazing at Neil with an odd expression, nothing like the hostility he had grown used to. Neil blinked and it was gone, Aaron shouldering past him like nothing had happened. Maybe it hadn’t, maybe Neil’s exhaustion was just messing with his perception of reality.

Neil collapsed on a couch in the lounge. His eyes fluttered closed. Neil was a little disbelieving he’d grown so comfortable around these people, and inside these walls, to be willing to fall asleep in the open. The pillow was a little scratchy, but Neil had slept on far worse. He allowed himself a few hours, confident his muscle memory would wake him when it needed to.

He woke slowly.

There were no nightmares to fly awake from, no regular dreams to wade through. It was a relief, Neil taking the time to stretch out the aches and pains. His eyes drifted to the clock in the corner, reading three in the afternoon. His eyes then drifted to the figure sitting opposite him. Neil saw the golden eyes and flew upright, but quickly relaxed.  _ Muscle memory,  _ he told himself when he recognised Andrew.

Andrew had his legs drawn up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees. He somehow looked smaller, but no less formidable, his biceps strained. His eyes darted to the number on Neil’s hand, then to Neil’s face. His voice was low. “You don’t need to defend me.”

It took Neil a second to catch up. The conversation with Nicky came to him in flashes, a little hazy, but clear enough to understand. How Andrew had heard them, Neil was unsure. Maybe all it had taken was one look at Nicky. “I wasn’t.”

“Liar.”

“There’s nothing to defend, you don’t care what they think.”

Andrew’s jaw ticked. “You are intolerable.”

Neil rose to his feet. He stretched his legs, noticing the burnt toast smell Nicky had mentioned. He needed a shower. “If I irritated you that much you’d stop following me around.”

“If I remember correctly,  _ you  _ are the one following me.”

It felt so easy talking to Andrew like this. Easier than talking to the others, as there was no expectation to be anything other than himself. Easier than perfecting his abilities, easier than keeping his secrets. Easier than pretending he would be here in a month, still talking to Andrew.

Andrew pulled a cigarette from his pocket. He gestured to Neil, waving it in between them. “Are you angry?”

Neil scoffed. “Don’t tell me you have a hidden agenda of turning me into your own walking, talking lighter.”

“It’s not hidden, I just told you.” 

Andrew waved the cigarette again. Neil told him where to stick it.

Andrew followed Neil into the hall, much to the former’s displeasure, and to the latter's amusement. Neil started to take them in the direction of the rooftop, but stopped when a chorus of voices erupted from around the corner. Andrew was in front of him in one clean movement, discreetly shielding Neil with his body. 

Kevin flew around the corner, ashen and frenzied. He barely took any notice of the two, too busy looking at someone behind them. Neil turned to find Wymack, appearing just as confused. Kevin did his best to smile, an awful jagged imitation of one. “Go back to your office, it’s fine.”

Wymack’s stare of disbelief was mimicked on Neil's face. “Like I’ll fucking believe that.” He huffed, striding down the hall. Kevin did his best to stop him, for a second looking close to using his powers to stop him by force. Neil knew Kevin better than that, knew he wouldn’t dare, and was proven right by his fallen shoulders.

“What?” Was all Andrew asked when he came closer.

Kevin scratched at his neck. “It’s another warning.”

Neil rushed forward, leaving Kevin and Andrew to whisper furiously to one another. He rounded the corner, seeing some of the others hovering by the front door. Neil pushed his way through, getting a nose full of Allison's velvety perfume as he went. 

On the doorstep was another dead raven, more mutilated than the last. There was no note this time around, but the message was clear enough. 

Wymack stared at it for a long time, the lines on his face appearing deeper. “Explain this to me.” He asked Kevin, who by now had wandered back to the group, Andrew at his back. “No bullshit, Kevin, explain.”

Kevin glanced at Nicky, then Aaron, and eventually settled on Neil. He exhaled. “I think you know.”

“Yep. But I want to hear it come from your mouth, because clearly this isn’t the first.”

While Wymack and Kevin went back and forth, Neil searched out Andrew. He was standing still, an unwavering presence behind Kevin. He thought of how easily he had used himself as a shield at the mere sound of trouble, and Neil wondered how it was so hard for the others to see what he could. 

Neil looked back to the raven on the doorstep. He hoped its death was quick. He had a feeling it wasn’t.

He had a feeling that was a prophecy in itself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I'm doing a challenge for another fandom and completely swamped myself with ideas, plus I guess I needed a little break from this story to get the creative juices flowing again. Thank you to those who commented on the last chapter, it really helped with my motivation. I appreciate your enthusiasm for this story, it means a lot.


	7. 34

_ DECEMBER 16th _

Neil couldn’t remember the last time he’d dyed his hair. 

He mulled over the thought during the meeting Wymack had called the following day, after thoughts and plans had been collected. Kevin stood beside him the entire time, carefully hiding his hands under his armpits. Neil could imagine them shaking, mimicking the rapid fire of his bouncing foot. 

Wymack enforced a strict _do not leave the grounds until we figure this out _policy, and Neil didn’t know how he was going to get his dye. Allison was similarly disgruntled, mourning the shopping trip she’d planned with Renee. The others were accepting and understanding, but wary. Andrew was yet to say anything. Neil doubted he cared.

Neil thought he could just ignore his hair, but the seed had been planted. He couldn’t stop looking, and noticing, and cringing. The regrowth would be unnoticeable to the others, but Neil knew, and that was enough. His skin wouldn’t stop crawling. Alongside the guilt, it wasn’t the most ideal of combinations.

Guilt was a new feeling, one Neil didn’t know how to deal with. He felt it when he saw the others' faces, tense and anxious during the meeting. He wasn’t responsible for the ravens, or for Kevin’s predicament, but he was responsible for the quiet problem that was his presence. There was double to worry about, a threat right under their noses, and it was disconcerting that Neil cared.

He hoped the feeling would fade eventually, the tightness of his chest unwelcome.

Andrew rounded up his lot when Wymack was done. Nicky and Aaron were the first out the door, followed by a high-strung Kevin. Andrew lingered. He sent Neil a look, one he understood as  _ I don’t care if you follow me, but you should follow me.  _ Neil almost followed, was so close to taking that first step, but Dan intercepted him before he could.

“Nope, you’re with us today. Let them deal with Kevin.”

The fact that Dan believed Neil had any sway over Kevin was bemusing. The fact it made Neil question if he really did was even more so. “Kevin isn’t my problem.”

“He kind of  _ is _ our problem at the moment,” Matt appeared beside Dan, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “Why can’t things just be simple like they used to be?”

“That would be boring.” Allison huffed.

“It would be safer.” Renee smiled.

They stayed in the lounge, talking, pretending the meeting had never happened. They were good at that, despite their hushed whispers and curious glances. Allison offered to braid Neil’s hair at one point, who barely suppressed a shudder. Allison brushed it off, but Neil felt that curious glance like she’d tapped him on the forehead, demanding an answer.

Neil grit his teeth. He needed hair dye.

He spent the afternoon thinking of his escape route, while simultaneously hating the use of the word  _ escape.  _ He wasn’t escaping anything, he would ideally only be gone for a few hours. If all went to plan, whatever that plan turned out to be. At one point Neil again tried to tell himself the dye wasn’t worth the trouble, but one thought of his natural hair had his breath hitching. 

Neil had always been a creature of instinct. If he wanted to do something, he would, damn the consequences. His mother had tried her best to kill that instinct, and for a while it had worked. But living at the hostel had undone everything she’d built. It made him a little more careless, a lot more free. He should’ve hated himself for it, but he didn’t. Freedom was, in all sense of the word, freeing. 

If Andrew heard that thought he'd roll his eyes, Neil was sure of it.

Matt abruptly appeared in his field of vision. “You okay?” 

Neil was lying on his bed, staring at the roof like it was the map of his mind. “I’m fine.” 

“Right.” Matt stared at Neil for a little too long, the latter shifting in his seat. Matt, realising his mistake, looked away with a nervous chuckle. “I’m not looking in your head. I told you I wouldn’t.” 

Neil rolled to his side, careful of his shirt riding up. “How does it work?”

“I describe it as level three of being a Sybil,” Matt laughed at his own joke, Neil doing his best to imitate a smile. “Wymack and Andrew are level nine, maybe ten. They can see everything, I can only see your current thoughts. It’s how I knew your name, you’d be surprised where it sits in your head waiting to be spoken.”

Matt’s smile dropped a little. “It was kind of fuzzy, now that I’m thinking about it. Your brain barely let me through.” 

“I’ve been told it does that.”

“Weird.” Matt tilted his head. “Which is nothing new for you.”

Neil’s smile was more genuine this time around. 

“If you weren’t a little off I don’t think you’d fit in around here.” Matt looked close to ruffling his hair, but thought better of it after seeing whatever emotion flickered across Neil’s face. “Come on, it’s probably our turn to help with dinner tonight.”

The time spent peeling potatoes gave Neil the time needed to cement his plan. After dinner (and after ignoring Andrew’s glare from the other end of the table) he excused himself early to prepare. He waited until Aaron did the same, of course, to not rouse suspicion. He couldn’t take any chances. They’d try to stop him, Neil would say something he’d regret, and he wouldn’t have his hair dye. Neither of those would suffice. 

Neil stayed awake until midnight, Matt’s snoring keeping him alert. He absently rubbed off the number on his hand, using the pen under his pillow to scrawl the 33. He dreaded the day he would venture into the 20’s, so close he could taste it and all too real. He squeezed the pen so hard he was sure it would break. It didn’t. 

He eventually grabbed his jacket, then Matt’s for extra warmth and for the larger hood. Neil rationalised it was just in case eyes were on him, as it would be easier to hide what he needed to. Neil realised too late that it was also an incentive to come back, to return the jacket to Matt. And he would come back, he would,  _ he would. _

The window made an awful noise when he pushed it open, like a chair screeching across old floorboards. He stayed very still, waiting for Matt to wake up and demand an answer Neil couldn’t give him. All he did was groan and roll over, and Neil kept his shuddering exhale as quiet as possible. 

The bedrooms were on the third floor, which Neil saw as a problem from day one. He had spent many nights mulling over how he would manage to get down if he ever needed to. He’d been unlucky in practising, as every time he tried someone always appeared, wanting something. 

If what he planned didn’t work he’d break a few bones, but Neil was willing to try. He'd practised alone in his bedroom before Matt turned in for the night, he was ready.

Neil leaned out of the window, breath fanning out in white wisps in front of him. He locked eyes on the bench below, inconspicuous and planted firmly on the ground. His fingers twitched, and the wind followed, swirling the leaves and stray twigs on the ground. 

He felt the breeze bend to his will, deep in his bones. It settled around his arms comfortably, happy to do as he wanted, and more. It was so unlike the fire that it was a little hard to believe Neil could control them both. It was hard not to believe when the wind swept the bench off the ground. 

It hovered unsteadily in the air for a moment before rising slowly. Sweat dripped from Neil’s temple, but he pushed through, ignoring the wave of dizziness to keep it in the air and rising higher. It passed the first floor, then the second, Neil’s hand beginning to shake with the effort. 

It was worth the burn when the bench was finally in his reach. Neil practically fell through the window, collapsing on the bench and taking a long second to catch his breath. He waited for the free fall, and the pain, but the bench stayed steady, the breeze continuous and cold on his cheeks. 

He laughed at the absurdity when the bench made its descent. Neil had the urge to rush to Andrew to explain what he’d achieved, but that was also absurd. Finally on solid ground, Neil’s legs remained weightless. He struggled with his first few steps, the pressure behind his eyes only worsening the further he got down the path.

If he was wary about hitchhiking before, it was his only option now, Neil’s brain rattling out of place in his head. He only ever had headaches this bad after something substantial, and Neil was sure if Andrew was here he’d have something to say about it.  _ Practice and it won’t hurt, simple. _

The road was closer than he thought, the moonlight casting tall shadows from the trees adjacent. Neil dug into his memory, trying to remember which was the way back to town. It made his head hurt more, but he would only be wasting time going the wrong way. The day he arrived was overwhelming, but he  _ had _ made sure to take note of the turns they made despite Andrew’s erratic driving. 

Neil signalled the first car heading left, two already having come the opposite direction. It was frustrating watching them drive the wrong way, more than he’d care to admit. At one point he contemplated standing in the middle of the road so they’d stop, then steal their car, but he quickly shook that out of his head. He schooled his expression into something palatable as he walked to the window.

An elderly woman was staring back at him, her eyes kind enough. “Are you alright?”

“I need a lift into town, I’m lost.” Neil pulled a few notes out of his pocket, crinkled and worn.

“There’s no need for that.” The woman shook her head, gesturing him inside. “It’s quite cold out there, hop in.” Neil settled in the car after studying her face for a threat, seeing no obvious glow under a pair of contacts. He’d been fooled before, and Neil wouldn’t be fooled twice.

The woman was talkative, asking him questions Neil easily answered. It passed the time, allowed his headache to recede, and he did get a kick out of making up stories. He rarely got the chance these days.  _ What are you doing out here alone? I was driving around with friends, they thought it was funny to leave me on the side of the road.  _ She hadn’t been pleased to hear that.  _ Oh! Well, I think you need to find yourself some new friends, young man. You and me both. _

At the sight of the gas station he asked her to stop, knowing there was a convenience store not too far away. He’d only been in Millport a short time, but he’d memorised the town quickly. The old pharmacy was a block away, the park two. The bakery wasn’t too far either, and the old man liked him there, giving him the leftover fruit tarts at the end of the day. They were way too sweet, Neil cringed whenever he ate them, but fruit wasn’t easy to come by so he ate them anyway.

The old woman bid him farewell after asking if he was okay for the thirteenth time. Neil didn’t understand the concern, nor did he wave at her when she drove off. He tipped the hood over his head, the light sheen of rain getting in his eyes. He tried not to walk too fast, arousing suspicion the last thing he needed, but it was hard when he was so close, the bright lights of the store a beacon.

The bell tinkled when he entered, Neil keeping his eyes low. He scanned the isles for the box dye, finally feeling like he’d scratched an itch when he saw them. Neil grabbed two medium browns, not making eye contact with the cashier who appeared half asleep as he scanned the products. Neil bounced on his heels, fidgeting with his money before handing it over.

When he stepped back onto the street, the rain having disappeared, Neil was sure he was being watched. It was likely nothing, was easily residual paranoia from being thrown back into the world. But Neil knew he could feel something, and every instinct was telling him to run. 

He took off back the way he’d come, looking for any shadows that moved with him, or cars that followed him. Puddles came to life as he walked, the water dragging itself across the concrete to lick at his heels. Neil wanted to care, but found it hard to. There was no one around to see, his only witness flickering street lights and whoever was following him. If they were following him. _ Maybe he should’ve told someone where he was going… _

It was a startling thought, one that would’ve knocked the air out of his lungs if a solid arm didn’t do so first.

Neil’s body betrayed him. Instead of moving, hitting, kicking or punching, he froze up. It was disconcerting, even more so when his mouth wouldn’t work either. It was like Kevin had used his control on him, only it wasn’t Kevin standing in front of him, arm on his chest. It also wasn’t his father’s men.

Renee was standing there, her coat a cherry pink, her smile as amiable as it always was.

“Careful.” She said. “You almost stepped into a puddle.”

Neil took a second to compose himself, not wanting to curse at her. His heart was ready to burst from his chest, Neil realising with dread that what he’d felt was fear.  _ Fear.  _ First guilt, then this… he’d left his guard down for far too long. 

His words were clipped, frayed at the edges. “How did you know I was here?”

“The cards told me.”

Neil had seen her tarot cards lying around, but he hadn’t thought twice about them. He didn’t like the idea of being seen. “Have they told you anything else?”

“They only tell me what I want to know.” Renee said, Neil struggling to read her tone. “I don’t believe it’s my business to snoop on people’s futures.”

“Apart from mine.”

“This is not your future, Neil, only a bad decision.”

That was a loaded sentence. “How did you even know to ask?” 

Renee tilted her head, silently asking him to follow. He did so without question, looking behind his back before settling in the car. At first, with a thrill, he thought she’d stolen it, but the plates were familiar. This was Allison's car, who Neil knew would look far more suitable next to the champagne scented dice hanging from the rear-view mirror.

“You had this look in your eye at dinner.” Renee tapped the steering wheel, looking out into the night. “I saw myself in that look, so I took it into my own hands. With the way the cards spoke I thought you were leaving for good, so I followed you.” Her lips quirked, like she was thinking of the dye. “I’m pleased I was wrong.”

Neil clutched the dye to his chest the entire trip back, wondering if it was worth it.

* * *

Despite being able to see the light on in the foyer, Neil still snuck through the front door. 

Renee had entered long before him, leaving Neil out in the cold with his thoughts. He hadn’t felt as uncomfortable in her presence as he thought he would. She sensed that Neil didn’t want to talk and respected that. Her words, no matter how sparse, were admittedly grounding. Neil was starting to understand why Andrew liked her, if  _ liked _ was even the right word. 

He tried to be inconspicuous as he crept up the stairs and down the hall, but the hushed voices in the lounge halted his steps.

“-freaking out, what if he’s gone for good? What do we do?”

“He’ll deal with it.”

_ “Aaron, _ you know what-”

“Neil?”

The door swung further open, revealing three familiar faces. 

Kevin was perched closest to the door, somehow looking more on edge than the day prior. His shoulders were hunched, his jaw locked. Neil was unsure how he’d even spoken his name from how high-strung he was. Aaron was seated next to Nicky, the contrast between them jarring. Aaron was composed, if not irritated, and Nicky looked seconds away from collapsing at the sight of Neil. It only left one unaccounted for.

_ “Jesus,”  _ Nicky rose to his feet. “What the hell, Neil?”

Neil remained on the threshold, deciding what response would cause less of an explosion. “What are you doing awake?”

Nicky spoke without taking a breath, Neil doing his best to ignore their incredulous looks. “Matt woke up and you were gone. He thought you were with Andrew, but Matt went to the kitchen and Andrew was there but you weren’t with him so Andrew woke up the whole house.” He waved his hands, correcting himself.  _ “Mansion, _ house, whatever.”

Neil couldn’t imagine Andrew knocking politely on doors. “Where are the others?”

“Out looking for you.” Aaron stood up. “They’re wasting their time, clearly.”

A burst of something defensive that settled on Neil’s chest. “I didn’t ask them to look.”

“Neil, you disappeared in the middle of the night.” Nicky looked to Kevin in dismay, like he thought Kevin would back him up. He still hadn’t spoken a word, continuing to look at Neil, but also right through him. “What were we supposed to do?”

“Wait.”

“You can’t be serious-”

Andrew exploded into the room. 

The timing might have been comedic if not for the murder on Andrew’s face. He whirled on Neil, hands raised like he was about to throttle him. “Where were you?” Neil blinked. Andrew repeated himself, eyes ablaze. “Where. Were. You?”

“I was just…” Neil glanced around the room, the truth not seeming an adequate response to their worry. “I wanted hair dye.” He held up a box like it would make them look away. 

“We thought you were  _ gone.” _ Nicky was suddenly more serious than Neil had ever seen him, lips taut. They were slightly bloody, Neil noticed, like he’d been gnawing on them. “We thought the Moriyama’s had taken you.”

Neil’s attention flickered to Kevin. “Why would they take me?” 

“Incentive.” Andrew’s hand was hovering. If Neil leaned in his fingers would be around his throat. His words were strained, barely controlled. “If they take you, Kevin would follow.”

“I wouldn’t.” There wasn’t much bite in Kevin’s voice. He must’ve stopped trying to convince himself hours ago. “And I told you, they wouldn’t know Neil was here.”

“And if they did?”

“I’d be gone.” Neil knew that as a fact. The second he caught wind of trouble, whether it was the Moriyamas or his father’s men, Neil would be gone. That was one thing he knew for certain, one thought that had not wavered. Even if he wanted to stay, he knew he couldn’t, not forever. “You wouldn’t have to worry about me.”

Nicky shook his head. “You’re one of us Neil, we have to worry.”

“Yeah, not all of us.” Aaron made towards the door, eyeing off Andrew who was yet to move. If he thought Andrew was going to pay him any attention he was wrong, and he muttered something under his breath before disappearing into the hall.

“You,” Andrew pointed harshly at Neil’s chest, not saying another word as he stormed off. Neil took it as the invitation it so obviously was. He knew where they were going, there was only one place Andrew would take him.

Neil huddled into Matt’s jacket when he stepped onto the rooftop. Andrew was standing by the column he always gravitated towards, smoking his umpteenth cigarette of the night. The smoke was caught in the icy breeze, sending it hurtling in Neil’s direction. He breathed it in, breathed it out, and met Andrew’s gaze.

“I take back what I said.” Andrew said. “You are stupid, one hundred percent.” 

“I wasn’t leaving.” 

_ I’ve never felt safer,  _ was left unsaid. Could not possibly be said. It may have been obvious for all Neil knew, struggling to keep track of all that had changed since he’d arrived. He gave away more than he’d ever given, gotten comfortable around more people than he ever had in his life. It was a red flag, a warning for him to stop before he regretted it. But Neil didn’t want to stop.

“You were running somewhere.”

“Yes, to get hair dye.”

Andrew dropped his cigarette. He got right in Neil’s face, tendrils of smoke seeping from his nose. He took hold of Neil’s chin, dragging him even closer. Neil couldn’t look anywhere other than those golden eyes of his, burning him alive under the moonlight.

Andrew’s nostrils flared. “I hate you.”

That sounded familiar. “No, you just can’t read me. And you don’t have to,” Neil added, seeing the spark in Andrew’s eyes. “Because I’m telling you the truth. I wasn’t leaving.”

“Yet.”

Neil’s stomach twisted. “When it comes to that I’ll tell you.”

“You won’t have to.” Andrew took a step back but his fingers remained on Neil’s chin. It didn’t hurt, it wasn’t an uncomfortable pressure, so Neil didn’t object. “Because you are not going anywhere.”

He was sure the wind stopped for just a moment, long enough for Neil to collect his bearings. “I don’t have a deal with you.”

“Yet.”

“Andrew.” Neil wanted to talk some sense into him, but the words weren’t coming easily. “There’s nothing I can give you, there’s no point when I’m on borrowed time. You letting me stay for now is enough.”

Andrew’s eyes darted to Neil’s hand. It was pointless, he would have memorised the countdown by now, just as Neil had. “Your claiming isn’t the end of your life, stop being dramatic.”

“It’s…” Neil hesitated. If they were to make a deal Andrew deserved to know what he was getting himself into. He owed it to him, the trust, after all Andrew seemed prepared to do for him. “It’s out of my control.”

“Hence the countdown.”

_ “No,” _ Neil took a deep breath, focusing on the freckles splattered across Andrew’s nose. There was no going back after this. “My family is cursed, I can’t control my claiming. I don’t have a choice.” It didn’t feel real spilling this particular secret, one of the only secrets he had left. 

Andrew was quiet for a long moment. Neil didn’t know what reaction he was expecting, or hoping for. It certainly wasn’t the tilt of Andrew’s head, or his, “I knew there was something else.”

Neil wrenched himself out of Andrew’s grasp. He took another deep breath, then another, feeling like he could see the words he had spoken suspended mid air, looking ready to lunge forward and choke him. “Are you serious?”

“Am I supposed to be afraid?”

“You’re supposed to-” Neil cut himself off, not thinking Andrew would appreciate being told he was supposed to do anything. “It’s important, Andrew, I don’t have a  _ choice.  _ I don’t know what I’ll become. My father...” Neil swallowed hard. “I can’t be like him.”

“Why are you so sure you’ll go Dark?”

“What other option do I have?”

“I can think of one option.” Andrew closed the space between him, Neil resisting the urge to flee again. “It doesn’t matter either way.”

“It matters a lot.”

“Why does it have to? I doubt the colour of your eyes will change how annoying you are.” Andrew stared at Neil, something unreadable on his face. “I assume the decision is made according to your _'true nature?'”_ Neil nodded. “And you think you are beyond saving?”

“I know I am.”

“Because of your family?”

Neil didn’t get the chance to respond to that. Andrew had taken the back of his neck, digging his nails in just the slightest. “You aren’t your family, blood means  _ nothing, _ it’s only a word,” he spoke harshly, like the words themselves were grinding his teeth. “You aren’t your father, and you aren’t what anyone else says. You control who you are. If you truly think otherwise I’ve highly overestimated you.”

Neil was dumbfounded for a moment, gaping at Andrew like a fish. He should’ve been embarrassed, but Neil should’ve been a lot of things. He should’ve been frightened, he should’ve been in the shadows, he should’ve had a different name. He should’ve been  _ dead.  _ But Neil was alive, he here, and he was breathing. In the face of Andrew’s resolve he could only think of one thing he wanted.

“I want to stay.”

“Then stay, they won’t touch you. I’ll make sure of it.”

Neil instinctively tried to argue. “You don’t know who is after me, or what they’re capable of.”

Andrew let go of Neil’s neck. “They don’t know me, or what I’m capable of.” 

He held out a cigarette to Neil, motioning for him to light it. Neil flexed his fingers, searching for the fire always burning under his skin. He didn’t feel any anger, not now, only a relief that the revelation was out in the open, and Andrew still remained an unwavering force. As steady as an iron sconce holding a wayward flame.  After a few minutes Andrew huffed and lit the cigarette himself, content to smoke in peace.

Neil stood quietly beside him, getting used to the idea Andrew had his back, bound in word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay. I wanted this to be longer to make up for the wait but it just didn't happen, and I can't guarantee when the next chapter will be up either.   
Life has just been... a lot, as I'm sure it is for most people. I do hope you're doing well and taking care of your mental health, wherever you are in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't tell you when this will be updated, maybe weekly, perhaps monthly, I couldn't tell you. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting.


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